Forsake Not Thy Mother [or Father] When They Are Old

I told Dad he didn't need to try to go outside for the clan photo, but he insisted.

Ezra managed the camera, and his sister Pearl helped arrange all the noisy cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandmother.

Then we saw Fain and brother-in-law Chris running back to help Dad out the door, along with Craig. The three "body guards," as they were dubbed, walked with Dad out to the photo shoot outside where the rest of us were shivering in the cold and hollering, "Four. More. Years!"

The sun was about to set in more than one way, although I had this hunch that it wasn't setting yet.

After the photo shoot, I watched my brothers accompany my dad back inside.

Dad--always the independent, stubborn one, now so frail he could hardly breathe. 

And my brothers, who have scratched their heads over and over at my dad, just standing by him and making sure he got inside okay, and then standing helplessly as he tried to get his breath again. 

 Some day, if the Lord tarries, we will all grow old. How we model treating our parents when they are old is going to be a big influence on how our children treat us when we are old. 

Our children, too, will think we are stubborn and independent and crazy sometimes. They will scratch their collective heads and remember hurts and have to ask God to help them to forgive us.  

But I hope they will still love us and not forsake us when our strength is gone.

Now we can walk by ourselves, even help to carry others.

 But there are many elderly around us, not just our parents. A lot is to be said for how we treat them, how we care about them, how we do not abandon them--even in the time of Covid.

When my dad's mother was still living, we spent years going to see her once a week, and my sister and I often stopped once or twice a week at her nursing home on our way home from college classes. 

We took Grandma along on any singing appointments in the area, helping her out of the vehicle and rolling her into the church or community building in her wheel chair. 

We were not ashamed of an aged grandma. My dad strongly taught us to honor the elderly.

Now he is reaping what he taught and modeled.

Kenn and Iva dropped everything and traveled down on Thanksgiving Day--

making sure they wouldn't have to regret not coming down.

Mother-daughter hug--they were willing to hug a second time when I saw it happen the first time and didn't have my camera ready.

It's okay that this one is a bit blurry. Maybe it was supposed to be that way. 

While the girl cousins had their Lifeline Gifts gathering, the boys and men returned from Black Friday shopping and started working at projects that needed to be done--unloading a trailer of wood, dealing with branches, leaves and trash, loading up scrap metal. Jonathan measured the stove pipe and figured up how much new pipe was needed. 

Chris, (Kezia's husband) and Jonathan trimmed some branches on the tree near the front door. Those branches kept scraping the big vans that kept pulling in and out.

 

There were enough leaves to keep everyone in the clan busy for a while

. Of course, the leaf and trash fire was a great gathering place for all. 

Sam zoomed around the place with one of the clan's zero-turn mower/leaf blower.

 

No end of cousin fun as one after another got their turn inside the tarp full of leaves!

 Reminded me of Fain's wedding when he got tossed into the air and was caught in a big blanket while his anxious wife hoped he wouldn't land wrong!

Three little boys having lots of fun together!

What is down between those cracks?

 I tried to convince him to only carry two at a time instead of four!

 Ezra fixing the fire in the new wood stove that the men and boys had installed a couple days earlier. It is working so well, and is so cozy to watch through the glass doors.  It was such a comfort to my dad!

Saturday morning was somber as Dad asked the guys to bring in the old hospital bed from out in the garage somewhere. The brothers and in-laws tried and tried to figure out how to get all the gizmos working on it, but it really wasn't working. Thankfully, even in the midst of trouble and anxiety, the guys could still crack jokes and enjoy the sunshine. No need to be morbid. We know Dad doesn't want us to stop living cheerfully.

One person after another was googling and calling around and trying to find a used hospital bed, only to end up late that evening taking Dad to emergency. His renal failure was causing fluid build-up, and Dad hadn't wanted any intervention at first. His doctor had said dialysis would not extend his life, so everyone was feeling pretty helpless, like this was probably the end. (It wasn't.)

We didn't know the evening was going to end up that way when one of the clan called and suggested that the clan get together after the photo shoot and sing for Dad. We started off with "Stand By Me," an old favorite that Elon used to sing as a solo with us others behind him. 

"When I'm growing old and feeble, stand by me!

When my life becomes a burden, 

And I'm nearing chilly Jordan,

Oh, Thou Lily of the valley, stand by Me!"

We sang "How Firm a Foundation" at Mom's request. We sang one hymn after another that we had learned way back when Mom and Dad first had us children start memorizing hymns.

"I Need Thee Every Hour," "Abide With Me," "I'll Walk With God," "My God and I," "If I Can Help Somebody," and finally Dad's quavering voice began, "The Old Rugged Cross." Fain quietly slipped up to try to play bass on Dad's big bass viol that Dad tried so hard to learn to play in his old age. Fain did great, using one string!

 Little ones were so precious, playing quietly around Grandpa's knee and tiptoeing on the floor as we sang.

Chris and Kezia's little boy snuggled up to his daddy--

and was soon sound asleep, despite the music!

So was another little boy that is almost as big as his mother!

Outside, the young people watched the leaf fire. 

The generations move along. 

Sam stayed behind to watch the fire when Jonathan and I headed off for supper with Fain and Regina's family. So we weren't there when Dad finally decided to ask Elon to take him to the ER. Because of Covid, none of us were allowed much inside the door of the hospital. It would be days before we would see Dad again.

Mom would spend many hours on the phone, either with doctors, nurses, or family members, relaying information and messages.

Hannah looking at all the photos of families and grandchildren that Mom has on her refrigerator. It is obvious who is important to Mom and Dad.

I couldn't help snapping a picture of these hats! They are so my dad! Because of his bald head, he has to wear a hat even indoors much of the time to stay warm. I remember him wearing a stocking cap to bed when I was wee little.

 

 This is the Scripture plaque on the church where we worshipped Sunday morning.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart...and love your neighbor as yourself."

Especially your mother and father when they are old.

Where Babies are Welcomed

At most any Morley reunion, if there isn't a baby it is hardly a reunion!

Now that we are about done with grandkids, the great grands are starting up!

Crystal got this one to sleep on Thanksgiving Day!

 

Amaris, who still has a heart to serve even though she is bedridden, spearheaded a project for the girls for Lifeline Gifts the day after Thanksgiving. All manner of new baby items had been gathered by the cousins to arrange into gift packs for a ministry in St. Louis for expectant mothers who choose life.

This ministry in St. Louis, Missouri, was thrilled to get news of the girls' project and welcomes the baby care gifts.

The girls gathered in Amaris's home over the noon hour and helped unpackage, sort, organize, and put together gift packs.

The packages include everything from tiny diapers to onesies to blanket to pacifier to a little fuzzy toy.A blanket wraps everything up and then a toy is tied into the package.

I took my mom over for just a few minutes that day so she and I both could get a glimpse of what was going on before getting back to get some lunch for my dad.

I am so glad my daughters and nieces could participate in this project at Thanksgiving time!

You can learn more about the ministry Amaris is trying to spearhead at www.lifelinegifts.com.

And of course, different ones of the girls and moms prepared a delightful little luncheon along with the project. I'm not sure what happened to the picture. It disappeared off here.

Above is the group of girls that had such a good time together!

Here is Candace with Jed and Rosalie's little Levi, and Susanna with Gabriel and Elizabeth's baby Elianna.

Kezia's little ones have grown up so big they are now singing with their mom! We so enjoyed their beautiful song Sunday morning in the log chapel.

Another little boy that is growing up and going into the house of the Lord on Sunday morning.

Watching the Bradford littles (and bigs) practice their music!

And is anything as charming as three little girls playing school with their dolls at the chalkboard at Grandma and Grandpa's house?

Sorry these pictures weren't the greatest of Jed and Rosalie when they came to see Grandpa and ma with their two wee ones. Some of these pictures are especially for Amaris and others who didn't get to be there.

                    Little Kari is one of the happiest and most engaging little girls I've ever seen.

 A precious bunch of little girls on a big girl's lap!

 "Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

When Sisters Get Together

One of my favorite moments in Missouri at Thanksgiving time was going out to the garden at Joella's home with my two sisters Joella and Kezia, and harvesting cabbage, cauliflower, and broccoli.

Yes, these cool-weather veggies are still producing wonderfully this time of year.

Joella had to pick them before the temperature went down to 18*.

Now is this a beauty of a cauliflower or not?

And broccoli!

I was having to ask God to deliver me from the temptation to be envious, jealous, and covetous!

My mouth was practically watering over homegrown cruciferous vegetables still growing at the end of November in the mild temperatures of Missouri!

But even better was just the fun of being in the garden together with sisters. 

I guess I get the love of sisters from my mom.

My mom is pretty classy when it comes to sisters. 

She was one of three.

 

My mom is in touch with her two younger sisters often to this day. 

They are all three different. Beliefs are different; living styles are different.

But those three sisters love each other and keep in touch.

They call and send cards and share photos and memories.

I hope we sisters always do.

 Joella generously allowed dozens of people to troop in and out of her home all Thanksgiving weekend (with some limits, of course, now and then). 

And Anita (I forgot to mention that I have eight sisters because my four sisters-in-law are sisters, too),

kept bringing or sending food over like Navajo frybread, even though she had to be at home most of the time with a bedridden daughter.

Here are all the sisters and brothers who were able to come to the Thanksgiving get-together.

When we get together, we sisters like to see what the other sisters' families are involved in, like music.

We stand there and ooh and aah at Joella's family's accomplishments on bells and violin, (or like me, feel squeamish because you can't even start to do music like that).

We rave over each others' daughters' creations, like these cherry tarts Susanna made for Sunday morning.

We admire each others' handiwork, like these baby quilts Anita and Amaris made. (Elizabeth and I both bought one because that is what sisters do. I don't know who I am going to give it to, but someone will get a lovely quilt.)

Regina was right in the middle of all the cooking and hosting and put up with dozens of youngsters at her place the whole weekend!

 

Thankfully, the boys stayed in a big tent which cut down on some of the foot traffic in the house except when it came to bathrooms. 

Oh, my! 

It was a miracle if you went down this hall or that one and discovered a bathroom free with the door actually open!

Once, before leaving for home, my youngest sister instructed her two little boys to go use the  bathroom, and I saw her littlest one turn around down the hall with a frown on his face. The door was closed.

"There is another one down the other hall!" I told him brightly, leading him down the other way.

When we arrived, there was his older brother, sitting dutifully on the floor in the hall, also waiting his turn!

All I could do was laugh!

After all, laughter is what sisters are for.