Safe from the Hawk

 Usually I do laundry on Monday.

But last week it was Tuesday since Jonathan and I had to be gone all day Monday to Sioux Falls. I was hanging laundry like usual, when something made me look up. 

And there, right above me, was a hawk!

The first thing I thought of was all the chickens that were all over the place. That hawk obviously had his eye on the chickens, especially the smaller young ones. There he hovered, big hawk eyes ogling.

I looked around in a sort of panic, trying to think how to warn our hens.  

Strangely enough, not a hen was in sight! Not a feather was to be seen of either young chickens or gray guineas! To my shock, the chickens had disappeared!

I looked back up at that naughty hawk, and I yelled. 

I flapped whatever clothing I was holding and tried to look and act as perfectly atrocious as possible!

This did seem to startle the predator a bit, and before long, with nothing savory to tempt his saliva glands (if hawks have saliva)

he was floating off in the blue sky.

I waited a while, finishing the laundry. Then one by one, I noticed the chickens coming out again. 

I had not heard any sounding of alarm, but apparently the chickens had. One or more of them had noticed, as I did, something was not right. Had they seen the hawk itself?

Or just the shadow? 

I didn't know. I just knew that  the hawk had glided far away, danger was over, and the chickens were coming out again to find food, water, or a dust bath spot.  

It was safe again. 

They popped back out from where they had hidden under the travel trailer or in the chicken coop. 

I think of the hawks in our lives, the way Satan wants to capture our hearts and attention, the way he wants to destroy us. How good it is to listen to the quick voice of warning and alarm that loved ones and godly counselors sound for us! May each of us be alert to even the shadow of the hawk that hunts our souls, and may we fly to the shelter of God's wings, to the sure fortress of the Rock that is higher than I.

In these alarming days of uncertainty and turmoil all around--nationally and internationally, economically, spiritually, physically, relationally--may God preserve us from the hawk, and may we keep our ears open to His warning signal, the alert about danger, and His invitation to a place of safety and rest in Christ.

 

The Little Fisher Boy Who Loved Jesus--and Shared His Fish

 As Jonathan and I were walking back to our Honda from spending an hour roaming slowly around Canyon Lake Park after my last chemo treatment, we noticed a young boy fishing right here at this picnic table that I'd noticed earlier.

Now I am not quite like Corrie ten Boom who felt she should witness to everyone she came into contact with, although I try to pay attention to times when God might want me to speak to someone about the Lord. But at this moment of seeing this little boy, it popped right into my mind to ask him if he knew about Jesus, the Fisher of Men.

Sometimes I'll see someone and wish I could say something, but I won't know what to say. This time, what to say popped right into my mind, and when we arrived at the van, I told Jonathan what I was thinking and feeling, and we strolled right back over that direction to do exactly what had popped into my head.  

Earlier, I had been feeding cracker crumbs to geese and this eager duck, but this time, I asked the boy if he liked to fish. He sure did, and then I asked him if he knew Jesus, the Fisher of men. He said yes. We asked if he heard stories about Jesus in Sunday School, and he said not Sunday School, but he goes to church. He was busy putting a wad of bread on his fish hook, but I pursued with one more question. 

"Do you love Jesus?" I asked, and he readily said yes. Then we watched him toss his hook into the water.

 

What happened next was a big surprise! Within seconds, that boy had a large fish on his line, and he was reeling it into shore. Our eyes about popped out of our heads. It was a beautiful rainbow trout!

"Is your mom going to fry that for supper?" I asked. 

No. 

"Is your dad?" I asked, "or grandma?" I had to try to remember that many little boys nowadays don't have a mom--or a dad--or much of anyone. He was there all by himself. Who did he have to fry a fish for him?

"No," he said, pulling the fish up on the ground, and getting ready to yank the hook out of its mouth. I felt so sorry for that fish. "I just release it again," the boy said, while I ached to think of that fish with a torn mouth just getting tossed back into the water.

"Would you mind if we took it home and fried it for our supper?" I ventured. This was perfectly acceptable to him, and I explained that we lived a couple hours away and I had just gotten chemo for cancer today, and that we were enjoying this walk in the park and how delighted we would be to have fried fish for supper. 

Jonathan put the fish out of its pain and cleaned it and we took it home to the RV where our friends the Woodards are letting us stay. The skillet there was too small for such a large fish, so Nicki Woodard was willing for us to come to her kitchen to fry the fish and visit. Jonathan stood at the stove for about 20 minutes, carefully frying that beautiful fish. It was enough for his entire supper with some for me, too, and enough left over for breakfast in the morning!

And that is the story of how a little fisher boy at Canyon Lake Park blessed Jonathan and me with a delicious fish for dinner and breakfast!

"Always love Jesus!" Jonathan called to the boy as we bade him goodbye and went off with our fish. 

May each of us always love Jesus.

 

 

My Sister Joella's Family Visit--and Sing!

 It was so fun having my sister Joella's family arrive last night in time for a late supper!

What a treat to listen to them practicing music to share at our church this morning while we prepared food for the noon meal. 

Last night I made a huge pot of chili for us all, and Crystal and I made apple crisps--one for supper and one for dinner today.  

Crystal also made a big batch of rolls for our guys' lunches this coming week, along with raisin bread for company breakfast. 

I felt rather terrible all Saturday, and was afraid Sunday would be worse, as it was last time I got chemo. But this time it was the opposite! I was able to sleep the entire night and felt enough better today that I was able to attend church service and get to listen to the service of music presented with such a good spirit by the Bradford bunch.

 

One of them was not so sure about this photographer. I don't know if it was the camera, the photographer's lack of hair, or his own personal issue! ;) :) But he certainly did have a good smile behind those hands!

It's wonderful how God gifts different ones--some with musical talent, others with writing, or managing skills, or working with one's hands, or teaching or preaching. When we arrived at church and I was introducing our pastor to Joella, he had just been arranging articles of furniture on the platform and humbly said he was simply the janitor this morning! 

It was a joy to see the church's pews so full of people from front to back! It was thrilling to see a native family with young children came in, as the music with the children up front is always interesting to children.

This man to the left is our beekeeper friend and "honey man." For pastor appreciation today, he brought a bucket of honey, and also gave a bucket of South Dakota honey to the Bradford family. 

Ethan helped Crystal bring Beaver from the nursing home to church and took her back again. At the nursing home, another man was bringing his mother back from church, and he urged us to have services at the nursing home. Crystal is wanting to do that, but she has been gone a lot these last few weeks. And I simply haven't been able.

 A very special blessing happened when Pastor Ambrose's wife Mathel arrived back from having made a quick trip to the parsonage to bring back a black case with a musical instrument inside. 

"I believe I have just found a home for this," she said quietly to me, as she set it in front of Craig and Joella and opened the case. 

It was her own beautiful mountain dulcimer, an instrument that she knows she will not be playing again.  Craig and Joella were totally overwhelmed.

"I have looked at and considered a mountain dulcimer for years," Craig admitted, "but I just never knew for sure which one to get."

As their family enjoys a much-needed vacation in the Black Hills this week, Craig hopes to start learning the dulcimer at the VRBO they rented. 

What a beautiful day of grace, giving, and glory!

 

Another Miracle--"You Will Not Have to Fight This Battle"

Not every verse that someone sends me by text speaks so powerfully as the one a friend sent Sunday morning. "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you...Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20:17

     I wasn't sure what to make of the verse and how it had stood out to me. What battle God was telling us we didn't have to fight. Was He going to just heal my cancer or what? 

  I was still pondering this verse Monday morning, the "tomorrow" after Sunday. What were we going to be facing? Jonathan and I were on our way to medical appointments in Sioux Falls, and on the way we were stopping in Mitchell to pick up a load of windows he had ordered for the remodel projects on the reservation. Jonathan also had to try to find three toilets for those same projects at Sioux Falls Menards since the Rapid City Menards had been out of stock. So we were facing many things that morning regarding cancer, mission work, and more. But then it dawned on me that at 10 that morning I had planned to make a follow-up call to a financial aid advisor in Pierre. She hadn't been able to come up with much except Healthcare Marketplace (which was iffy) since we'd been denied Medicaid twice (even after Jonathan asked SIM to cut his wages recently so that we could qualify.) Jonathan didn't think it was any use to call this lady, so we didn't. Was that the battle we didn't need to fight? I didn't know.   

     Well, after my second set of chemo treatments this week in Rapid City and the day-after injection for stimulating white blood cells, Jonathan reluctantly but courageously decided to go visit the billing office in person to talk about all the bills. Although (praise God!) foundations are covering two of my most expensive chemos and the injection drug, we are still left with approximately $12,000 every three weeks, every time I have chemo. That does not include extra doctor visits, follow-up, labs after the chemo, etc. To be fair, a free wig, free hats, free books and puzzles of my choice, and free hot water and camomile tea bags are provided! :) :) At the cancer center, the financial aid person had said that because we lived far away in White  River, we were "outside their service area," and did not qualify for their special hospital's aid. There was nothing they could do for us, she said. 

     Anyway, Jonathan headed into the billing office to talk about self-pay discounts and pay up with credit card at least for the last chemo day. We could still turn those bills in to Samaritan Ministries, but we were coming down to the end of what Samaritan Ministries will continue to reimburse for us, and Jonathan had little hope left about financial aid for the next few treatments, since even if we qualified for the Affordable Care government insurance, that would not kick in until January.  At the billing office, Jonathan "happened" to be directed to an office of a man to whom he told our dilemma, how we'd been denied Medicaid, etc. The man asked about our income and said, "You don't need Medicaid. With your income level, you just need to fill out this form and we put you on a sliding scale, so that you just have to pay [a small co-pay]. I'm the head of this financial aid office and it's not going to be any problem. " He gave Jonathan the one-paper form, and away went my husband, hardly able to believe what God had just done!

     My mind went back to the verse that had hit me between the eyes Sunday morning. "You will not need to fight this battle." We had kept going, taking my position in that hospital chair for my chemo infusions, and God had fought the financial battle. 

We don't know the details of how it will all turn out, but at least for that day, God fought for us and gave us relief from our feeling of helplessness.

That morning I had also read in my devotions, "Give us help from trouble, for vain is the help of man." Vain had been the "help" of the financial aid person in the cancer center. God had truly helped us by redirecting us right around the corner to the right person to talk to!

Beauty for Ashes--After Chemo

  Yesterday after my chemo infusions, since we had to stay the rest of the day and overnight in Rapid City for another injection in the morning, I suggested we go for a ride in the autumn glory. Despite how weak I felt, I have found that keeping moving and finding joy in nature are extremely helpful in keeping a positive attitude through this difficult time.

Because of a rescheduling of my chemo infusions so that the doctor could see me first, we had an extra hour already in the morning to go for an early morning walk. We decided to simply walk down a back street and get away from Twilight Drive where the church is. That street is so busy with cars that time of morning that you can hardly find a time to cross.

We enjoyed the gorgeous autumn leaves, sparrows twittering, a flock of doves flying away from a favorite tree, and this carved stump. It was much better than waking up about 11:30 the night before to the sound of terrible gunshots going off from a vehicle. I thought at first maybe it was just a vehicle backfiring, but Jonathan was sure it was gunshots, maybe an AR-15. It was coming our way! Having the church between us and the shots being fired was not a very big comfort! The vehicle went by and then turned on the very next street, going by us again, shooting the whole way, with just houses and yards between us. Jonathan called 911 and was told others were calling and that troopers were en route. In the morning, the pastor's wife told us that they knew it to be someone's Ford Ranger spruced up with these sound effects. 

We were not impressed. :( :(

 

It was not an easy morning for me. We met with the wig lady, as I call her, who gave me the wig on order for me and let me pick more hats. I have lost most of my hair, as you can see, and my hair looked even worse after trying on my wig! I was extremely weak, as I had been trying to fast in order to put my healthy cells into protective mode to protect them from the chemo, as I'd researched that it helped keep chemo side effects at bay. But I had to ask Jonathan to buy me some almonds, and a few of those stabilized me. My doctor frowned at the idea of fasting, as she would have preferred to see me "coming in nourished." But she allowed me the freedom to make my own decision. After all, I had suffered no terrible nausea last time after chemo, and I felt it was worth fasting to be able to eat later and to hopefully not have the mouth sores and other issues, but most of all to protect my healthy cells since chemo is indiscriminate! 

 I have tried to live my life with the discipline of enduring hardship in the short term in order to experience rewards in the long term. This is one of those times. I don't know if I am correct in this particular issue, but I do know that I never took any of the extra nausea pills the doctor prescribed for me. Not one. I took the necessary ones for the first three or four days, and then I got through the rest of the three weeks able to eat every meal, never once throwing up or even thinking I would. I did gag a couple times and had a hard time swallowing all the supplements I'm taking. I never got a mouth sore (yet) except from biting my cheek!

In the middle of my chemo infusions, a social worker came in.  

We were quite nervously sure she was coming to talk about our unpaid bills, and I was sitting there wondering if this would be my last chemo (which would be nice in one way and terrible in another since between the chemo, lymphatic treatments, and natural supplements and treatments the cancer has been healing beautifully in just these last three weeks whereas before starting chemo I was getting into almost constant pain and unable to sleep for hours at night). Instead she asked how I was doing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. When we admitted to her we thought she was coming to talk about bills, she right away tried to think how to help. I said I wasn't sure if I could come in for any more chemo after these two treatments, since our health care sharing ministry has a cap on what they will reimburse. 

She suggested we look up Susan Komen's organization and check out the Pink Fund. Then she went out to do a little research for us, and came back not just with information, but with gift cards from Black Hills Road Trip of Hope, a local organization that helps cancer patients traveling from a distance with travel and lodging expenses. "This is such a small thing in comparison to the big picture," she said, "but I'm giving you the maximum amount they'll allow if you will just sign this paper." It might have been small in the big picture, but to me it was a huge blessing that my husband could go to the gas station and fill the tank using one of those gift cards!

After that, here we were, me having just eaten some hot chicken celery soup Jonathan got me from Golden Fortune Chinese restaurant, and me struggling to walk, but gaining strength in the fresh air out in nature. I had some crackers along, which I guiltily nibbled (since I'm not supposed to be eating white flour junk especially after chemo has wrecked my digestive system) in between throwing crumbs to the geese. (I allowed myself the pleasure, though, of nibbling a few yummy, salty crackers.) I got a goose to take a cracker straight from my hand!

Then we walked up the hill and sat down on a tree root to enjoy the sunshine and the lake and the autumn trees. It was like beauty for ashes, the joy of the Lord replacing the spirit of heaviness, although to be honest, I hadn't felt all that heavy in the cancer center. Nurses, pharmacist and student, and social worker had kept us busy talking or listening much of the time, and I had been warm enough this time, despite keeping my hands on or under ice packs the nurse provided during the worst chemo infusion to prevent neuropathy. 

I ended up feeling pretty drowsy after chemo and taking a half-minute snooze on my hubby's shoulder at the lake. Jonathan's noticed that a couple hours after chemo, I'm very drowsy. I've ended up falling asleep in the van while Jonathan shopped somewhere each time, and when he comes back and opens the van door, I wake up in a panic. It's a little crazy...

But before this post gets too long, I will save the news about the little fisher boy and the rainbow trout for Jonathan's supper--and about a very special miracle the next morning for another post.

Sunday Bugs, Rugs, Jugs, and Snug

Sunday morning started out with a bug on the rug.

Jonathan saw it first, and asked what kind it was. I wondered if it might be the cricket that I had seen last night skittering along a paper in a spot in the office while I was up when I couldn't sleep due to twitching nerves.

Then Danny had a clever idea about how to get rid of that bug.

 As you can see, now we had a hen in the house!

 

However, Danny's idea worked great, and now we had a hen but no bug!

I, however, as the mom of the house, was not interested in a hen on anywhere with carpet, so Danny had to get the hen out again, which wasn't much trouble. We hurried around to get a crock pot of food and a bowl of coleslaw ready to take for church fellowship. (Hats off to Jonathan for toasting the almonds, making the dressing for the slaw, and adding the vegetables to the meat in the crock pot while I had to do other things!)

We managed to leave in time to run to the nursing home where the nurse had just finished braiding the hair of our friend Beaver and she was ready to go!

It was such a balmy October day that the church needed neither heat nor air conditioning.  I actually was the one to share a devotional thought inspired, of all things, by the loss of most of my hair this week, thinking of how God cares so much for us and knows so much that we don't, including even the number of our hairs! He knows how many are all over my bedroom right now and how many I lost each day this week.

I finished with a poem by Annie Johnson Flint, after sharing a little bit about her life and story of loss and suffering, yet how she chose submission and love for God rather than bitterness despite being confined to her room of suffering for 40 long years. I will paste it at the end of this post.

In the picture above, Danny is pushing Beaver along. I sat with her at a picnic table outside after service, where another fellow discovered us and sat down to enjoy some food, too. Hannah and I kept running back and forth with plates of food, bowls of soup, or cups of juice from jugs inside. A ladybug suddenly appeared on the picnic table, and I watched it fly away.  

There are bugs galore--especially yellow jackets or wasps nearly everywhere, inside and outside.

The weather has been dry for months, and very warm. Our soil is cracked terrible in some places, very deep.  

Since the pastor at Mission is away fundraising for the mission, and people who usually cook meals Sunday evening were either gone as well or sick, it was decided not to have a whole meal. 

 

Instead our family made an assembly line and put together about three dozen bologna and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to hand out afterward, especially to people off the street or ones who struggle to take care of families, who come expecting a meal as usual. We added a snickerdoodle cookie from packages I'd found marked down yesterday in Murdo on our way home from medical appointments in Rapid City. We wrapped sandwiches and a cookie snugly in pretty autumn cellophane baggies that I've had stored in my Thanksgiving decor for years. It was fun to find a use for those this evening! I stayed home, since we leave again early tomorrow for more medical appointments, this time in Sioux Falls. But the sandwiches did stretch! One time recently there were over 70 people at church, but tonight there were not so many and there were some sandwiches left over, most of which I took up to a neighbor lady who takes care of people on both sides of her--an elderly man whose wife has been in the hospital, and a nephew who was thrown out of his home. 

She handed me a bag of some of her own homemade fry bread in exchange. 

Once again, it was a very full and fulfilling Sunday! 

Here is Annie Johnson Flint's poem:

 

I cannot, but God can;
Oh, balm for all my care!
The burden that I drop
His hand will lift and bear,

Though eagle pinions tire —
I walk where once I ran —
This is my strength, to know
I cannot, but God can.

I see not, but God sees;
Oh, all-sufficient light!
My dark and hidden way
To Him is always bright.

 My strained and peering eyes
May close in restful ease,
And I in peace may sleep;
I see not, but He sees.

I know not, but God knows; 

Oh, blessed rest from fear!
All my unfolding days
To Him are plain and clear.

 Each anxious, puzzled “Why?”
From doubt or dread that grows,
Finds answer in this thought;
I know not, but He knows.

 

 

My Niece Bethany's Wedding to Lyndon

Last Saturday our five oldest children were in attendance at the wedding of my niece Bethany (my brother Gabriel's daughter) to Lyndon Martin, whom she first met a little over a year ago while taking part in a conservative musical group called Lyrica Sacra. 

I had hoped to attend the wedding with Jonathan, but---chemo and cancer happened, so I indulged myself by constantly checking the phone to see who was sending a picture next!

Some of these came after the wedding was over, but one by one, loving sisters and thoughtful children would send me little updates and photos and comments to keep me in the loop. 

Both rehearsal and wedding itself were in the Rooke Chapel at Bucknell University, a place my family has often frequented through the last many years to attend various concerts and musicals.

Nieces and sisters practicing before the rehearsal.

I suppose one reason for the choice of venue (besides its surprisingly reasonable cost for the event) was the pipe organ. My sister Iva played it for the processional, and my sister Dorcas played it for the recessional!

My youngest nephews (and very youngest niece, Gabriel's and Elizabeth's youngest daughter)checking the organ out.

Another photo during the rehearsal. 

Someone sent me this photo of the wedding flowers ready to arrange! 

Our Tim was the videographer up in the balcony. He tried to live stream the wedding, but signal was poor and it didn't work, and he had to resort to simply videoing it.

And then hours went by with no pictures at all! Everyone was intent on the occasion! Brent Susan officiated the wedding. This picture was snapped by either my sister Joella or her daughter Susanna from up behind the grand piano.

This one was taken and sent to me by my sister Dorcas who was sitting behind the row of the three dating or married couples in the Lucas clan--Crystal and Ricky, Sam and Caitlyn, and Rose and Tom--all of whom had flown in for the wedding.  

A pre-wedding photograph of the bride and her eight siblings. 

Bethany and flower girl Elliana

A choir of friends and cousins sang a couple songs in the wedding--including the song that Lyndon and Bethany had (somewhat by accident) ended up singing as a duet together well over a year earlier during a Lyrica Sacra concert before the two started going together. Another girl who was supposed to have sung the duet part with Lyndon hadn't been able to, and Bethany had been chosen to sing with him. She had no idea he was noticing her by then!

Two of the newest brides of the year--Mercy (Dorcas's daughter) and Rose.

 

Cousins and friends visiting. Dorcas sent this photo, having focused on Sam and Caitlyn. 

 Another photo of the two newest brides visiting, this time with some of the little ones in the clan.

Bethany's mom Elizabeth sent me this photo.

And this one.

Not sure who sent this one, but it looks like the boys of the clan (with one of the littlest girls) are wrapping up the get-away car! 

 I love the candids!

Somehow Sam managed to end up with little Timothy, my nephew Nathaniel's youngest boy. 

Woops! Now Tim has baby Tim!  

 

A picture of eight cousins plus Sam's girlfriend Caitlyn out for a walk in the beautiful Pennsylvania autum!