When You Don't Know Where to Start--Just Do One Thing

This morning I went gingerly out to the garage to see how things were out there. The guys in the household have been doing some work out there, trying to figure out what to take and what to get rid of. But the garage right then was just a mess. Danny was standing in the middle of it, like a lost puppy unsure where to go next.

I came back into the house. I'd rather work anywhere besides that garage.

Even the basement is better than the garage.

That garage has been the bane of my existence.

Even the crawl space is better than the garage! :) Here two of my girls and cousin Candace (a couple weeks ago) were working at taking apart a shelving unit that was in the crawl space. I heard a bad crack, and this is what I saw when I went to investigate. Apparently nothing particularly tragic had occurred. Just some random snap of something as they took the shelf apart.

Crystal worked at putting our food grade diatomacous earth in jars. It is good to eat a little a day for the silica (it fights cancer and provides minerals for your hair and nails), but it isn't good to breathe it in. So Crystal wore her dad's hankie.

But back to my ponderings for the day.

About the garage, and how no one knows where to even begin out there. But someone has to start out there somewhere.

I guess that will be me today.

Even though I'd rather be taking all our wall decor down from the walls! Anything except the garage! But I told myself, "When you don't know where to start, just do one thing. Just one thing at a time. Pick up this old piece of dirty carpet that the dogs were using. Throw it away. Wind up this extension cord. Stack these boards. Put away those tools. Sort those items. Sweep those few square feet."

In about an hour, some paths were cleared through the stuff. And there was enough space that when Jonathan came home, there was space to haul in out of the rain a huge roll of carpet he'd found on clearance for our South Dakota home. 

When there's something we need to do but it is such a big project we don't know where to start, just do one thing. 

And that will clear the path toward the next thing, and the next,

and soon the project will be completed.

 

 

Jonathan's Birthday

                  Four of our birthdays land during these two weeks while we are closing on our house and moving! Jonathan's is the first.

He doesn't usually care for cats, but he admitted he likes this one! It's going to SD with us.

 This is what we woke up to that morning! Spring snowfall for Jonathan's birthday gift! 

And birds galore perching in the tree outside.  

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Just nothing like a spring snow to bring the birds around!

In fact, as Jonathan and I had our devotions together that morning, we happened to be reading in Song of Solomon!

Chapter 2 tells of how "the singing of birds has come." 

They had truly come to our tree! 

All day, birds sang.  

Rose's three tomato plants soak up sunshine while the snow melts outside.  

All this heavy snow was gone by afternoon. 

 

 For supper, we had Ukrainian borsch and dill pickles, remembering such happy days courting in Ukraine, and later serving there as missionaries. 

And in the evening, Hannah brought our dog Aspen in to nurse her puppies. 

What a beautiful, healthy batch of puppies! These are going to SD with us, too.  

Why I Was Crying (for Joy) in King Soopers Grocery Store

Today was a big day. Packing to move had to wait because Jonathan and I had to go to town to sign the papers for closing on our house, 

have a consultation with my cancer doctor, drop off some paint cans from our garage at Restore and take the rest to hazardous waste,

and go for an IV Vit. C treatment.

After the house closing papers were signed, I asked to go to King Soopers so I could pick up an item I needed. I hoped I would not find too many good markdowns because I didn't want to overload our refrigerator right now while we were needing to use up our food before moving next week.

But when you don't want markdowns tempting you, what do you get?  

Yeah, LOTS of them! No sooner do I get in the door than I see trays of veggies and dip marked down. Lots of them. 

Ohh--I forgot that we are having to buy something for Danny's graduation party Saturday evening. These veggie trays will work! And I can even eat the veggies! Then there were organic lettuces, and cauliflower and organic cucumbers on sale or in the marked down shelf.

And then my eyes caught party trays of sliced cheese, meat, and crackers usually $16.99 on sale for $5.00! 

I was aghast. They weren't out of date or marked down. They were simply on such a good sale!

I crammed those in my cart.

Next I went to the back and hoped there wouldn't be too many tempting things back there where breads and doughnuts are marked down. Well, back there was a can of spaghetti sauce (we needed a jar for the week ahead I remembered), little boxes or bottles of electrolyte flavored water sweetened with erythritrol or however you spell it. 

And a WHOLE CASE of berry flavored sparkling water!

I had just used up the last drop of my coconut water and seltzer water this morning. I hadn't been able to find an affordable coconut water without sugar added, and here was a whole case of sparkling berry water without sugar.

As I was picking up these things I needed, another older lady came by and was looking at the markdowns, too, and we got to chatting. 

And all of a sudden, I spied three boxes of gluten-free, sugar free brownie mix, sweetened with stevia!!

Nothing in it I couldn't eat!

"I'm fighting stage 4 cancer," I explained to the lady, "and can't eat sugar or gluten. And God provided this!"

I don't know what the lady thought of this lady starting to cry, but it's okay. She wished me well in our move, and I moved on.  

Going down the orange juice aisle, I cried again. 

I couldn't believe how God had provided for me.  

I had just literally held that seltzer water can upside down this morning, getting every last drop out of it because it helped my drinking water go down easier. And God was providing more drinks to help flavor all the water I have to drink. 

When Jonathan came in to help me check out, I stood there showing him my bargains, and I was crying all over again. I don't know what the lady thought who was nearby, but I hope she heard me say how God had provided for me--just when I ran out of things I needed.

And He also provided ready-made party food so I don't have to make much for Saturday evening party at the park. 

And that is the story of why I was crying in King Soopers Grocery Store.

When God Carries Your Load

There have been a lot of loads carried lately as we try to clear out our home and property from 22 years of accumulation. 

Friends helped us load a couple weeks ago before Jonathan and boys set off for SD.

We are taking a lot of lumber and building materials since we have to travel far to reach a building supply store up there.

They took things like the shop bench and the porch swing I bought for Jonathan at an anniversary years ago.

Up there in SD they unloaded things and stored some of it under some attic rafters. It started to look like home after a rocking chair and shelf was set in there! Love it!

Rose and Tommy and I traveled up later. Rose helped with meals. 

Tommy was a huge help with wiring. 

And Sunday night, on our way home from church, we stopped to meet some people we'd been urged to get to know who live at a ranch  near our place.

Both they and we were thrilled to meet each other--two home school families.

They gave us several packages of yak burger and bison steaks or roast which they'd just processed recently, meat grown on the ranch.

Without a cook for a while, Jonathan had bought a grill. And he grilled those burgers Monday night. I liked the heart-shaped one best!

I even allowed myself to enjoy a yak burger. The doc told me to stay off meat and dairy, along with all sugar and gluten, and nearly every other food that Americans normally eat.

But I think for myself a little bit, and I can't afford to lose any more weight. So I am allowing myself a little homegrown meat and even a very little dairy. Like cottage cheese mixed with flax seed oil, a huge cancer fighter as recommended in the Budwig diet.

And I ate my burger and even some friend potatoes that meal. 

They were delicious!

A treat after salads and rice and lentils and chili. Although I appreciate and even like all those foods I am allowed to eat. 

No complaints. 

 Despite a couple days when I was really struggling with weakness, I was doing well up there, and also here.

When I get too weak, I know I need to relax on my diet, or pay more attention to making good food for myself, and so I am tweeking things.

The last day we were there I felt best in the late afternoon and evening. I transplanted some rhubarb starts I'd dug from our place in Colorado, and brought several buckets of snow from the snow banks to melt to water them.

Robins sang nearby.

There was a pile of building material trash just beyond the right edge of this photo, and after Jonathan backed the dump trailer up to it, I loaded that whole pile single-handedly while Jonathan and son finished getting tar paper stuff (sorry I forget the name) on the last of the roof. They were up there in the dark working with headlamps. 

And, with a battery light that one of the guys set for me, I just kept pickup up boards and trash with gloved hands,

enjoying the warm air for once. I was working without even a sweater!

Then Jonathan moved the trailer, and Danny and I loaded up another pile of trash. 

I could hardly believe what I had been able to do.

Even without cancer, I didn't normally work like that. 

Of course, I am working hard anyway now because I know that lymph nodes won't drain without movement, so I must move.

I'm not being a slave.
I am just motivated!

And I am thankful!

God gave me strength that night to do all that.

And today I worked almost all day sorting and packing.

Because, to tell you the truth, God is carrying my load.

It's a miracle.

Is My Stress Level Through the Roof Yet?

There must be a lot of prayers going up for us right now, because otherwise my stress level would be through the roof and way above the South Dakota clouds.  (Or Colorado clouds where we are right now.)

After the PET scan came back a couple weeks ago letting us know that there is cancer in my liver, too, (putting me, as I understand it, at Stage 4), we have that on top of selling, packing, closing, moving, building a new house, and living in primitive circumstances

while doing that. 

And putting in bids for work on the reservation, a new tweek to the story. 

Right in the middle of sticky gumbo when it rains, which it did a few times up there.

If I were not so busy, I would probably worry more about myself.

But I am on ever-extensive protocol, and a recent addition to my protocol is giving me a lot of hope. 

I thought today that I was simply too busy to have a pity party, working despite how ill and achy I feel

after going through some major detox after two cancer treatments and adding new supplement last week. 

There's nothing we can do except move forward at this point. Our house is to close on Friday.

Speaking of roofs, Jonathan and the three boys took the first moving truck to SD a couple weeks ago and then worked at roofing. 

Tim's dog Kate was along. 

 

Tim wondered if Kate would climb the ladder to the roof. 

She did!

Here she is right up there on the roof with the boys! She is quite the dog!

Lord, when my stress level is somewhere through the roof,

maybe out there somewhere beyond the skylight,

help me to remember that I am not alone on the steep, slippery, uncertain roof.

You climb the ladder with me.

You walk with me. 

You are my Shepherd, even and especially on the roof.

And You comfort me.

Like when a friend told me about a lady who had a "strong vision" that God was shining something like laser lights to heal two areas of my body. 

"Does she have cancer somewhere besides the primary place?" the lady asked. She did not know it is also in my liver, so my friend told her. 

The same lady has been wakened every night for several nights, like clockwork, about 11 o'clock, to pray for me.

I am awed.

Am I worth this much, God?

Surely Your goodness will follow me all the days and nights of my life,

even to the rooftops.

When a Sweet Niece Comes to Help

While Jonathan and the boys were gone to South Dakota, we gals enjoyed a few days together before Crystal and her cousin Candace had to go back to Missouri. Candace had come from Missouri with Crystal over spring break

The girls rode horses one afternoon.   

 They also helped a lot with some packing in the kitchen. All the stuff that I can do without for now from the kitchen cabinets. It went up to South Dakota in the moving truck. 

Carrie clearing out the shelf above the stove, while Candace kneads bread. 

Then one of those days I had an appointment for my third Vitamin C IV.  It was high dose this time, and not knowing how I'd feel afterward, I asked Carrie to pick me up afterward. The other girls came along, too, to visit a friend, shop, and run errands. 

Later Carrie took her cow milk to a friend, and then came back to meet the rest of us at the Life Network Thrift Shop. What fun to browse through this nice place with my girls. No rush, we all just took our time. I found a few things, and so did others. Back at the vehicle, Carrie gave me this bouquet that our friend had given her--for me! So sweet!

Then on the way home the girls played a game that they'd just found at the thrift shop.

It was a very happy time for us all!

Dear Grandma Boyd Brings Sparkle to the "Hallelujah Chorus"!

I hadn't had very many practices with the choir before singing the Hallelujah Chorus Easter Sunday morning, and the country church where we go often invites anyone from the congregation who would like to sing with us to just come and join in. 

    "If anyone would like to join the choir to sing," the song leader said, "you may step over and pick up one of the extra pieces of music laid out and join the choir while we're singing the first two verses of our hymn."

                            Well, I didn't expect anybody to join us, but this time, two or three did! One was Grandma Boyd.

She is probably the oldest grandma in the church, a bit stoop-shouldered with age, and not always quite with it, but who has such a happy laugh that she is so easy to love! Well, she decided to join the choir singing the "Hallelujah Chorus."

And guess where she came to stand? Here she came into my aisle of altos, heading straight for the empty chair on the other side of me!

"Oh, boy!" I thought. "She hasn't practiced even one time. What is this going to sound like? I mean, this is the "Hallelujah Chorus!"

I knew I'd be having a hard enough time trying to sing the right notes.

                              But I also knew there was only one right thing to do--welcome Grandma Boyd to the chair beside me.

So I did. First she was trying to find her place in the "Messiah" cantata book where the "Hallelujah Chorus" was, while we were actually at the moment singing a hymn from the hymnal. So I helped her find the hymn in the hymnal first. 

"Oh, thank you!" she said brightly. 

And then it was time to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus."

Maybe if Grandma Boyd made enough mistakes, I couldn't help thinking, maybe my own mistakes will be covered up!!! :) :)

But dear little Grandma Boyd had a strong soprano voice, and I found out later used to sing in another choir and had sung the "Hallelujah Chorus" before. She sang amazingly for such a little, bent thing!

Until she lost her place and was singing somewhere two pages behind the rest of us!

Quickly, I flipped her page for her and pointed to where we were.

It was near the end now, and I was watching the choir director and listening to my daughter singing alto sturdily beside me on one side 

and dear little Grandma Boyd carrying the soprano on the other side. 

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed again with her merry laugh, when the song was over. "Thank you for helping me!"

And I wouldn't trade singing beside Grandma Boyd this Easter morning for anything!

Daffodils Glowing in the Dark--Easter 2023

It was Resurrection Day morning. 

Other families related to me were braving the chilly morning in Missouri and having a sunrise service, but no such thing happened here. 

Crystal and I had been up till well past midnight trying to help my niece Candace who had traveled here with Crystal from Missouri last week, and who was having severe stomach cramps. 

 Candace had gone with our young people on a short camping trip overnight and spent part of Saturday four-wheeling--

until the four-wheeler's coolant hose or something exploded in a cloud of steam and burned her leg and Hannah's leg!

As if that were not enough, her stomach began to cramp severely later last evening. In the end, we believe it was dehydration, with not drinking enough, traveling, the burn on her leg, and high altitude. I rubbed her feet and rubbed on oils and tried to push liquids and electrolytes, but she was in too much pain to get much down. Crystal rubbed Candace's back and we both were looking up symptoms and remedies online and in my books of natural remedies. We almost took her to an Urgent Care, but none were open except for one with terrible reviews. Our ER visits in the past have turned out to be mostly a big joke that cost a lot of money and didn't help anything.

About three in the morning, Candace was throwing up and panicking and Crystal was calling EMT brother Sam.   

A few nights before, Sam had pushed his way right into a house guarded by a pit bull in order to get to the side of a man who had called 911 after collapsing. But when it was about a girl throwing up, he said if he called it in, they would probably send the AMR and all they could do is give her anti-nausea medicine. So they waited, and suddenly, Candace was feeling better. 

She was able to sleep until morning. I was so thankful.

"Weeping may endure for a night," says the Psalm, "but joy comes in the morning."

The sun was shining in, and Jonathan, Crystal, Carrie and I were hurrying to leave in time to practice with the choir. We were singing a Resurrection anthem and the "Hallelujah Chorus." 

Last week I hadn't been able to go to practice, and we'd been gone two Sundays before that. So I had given up the hope of singing with the choir. But the choir director had said she was hoping both Crystal and I could join the choir today. So Crystal had pulled up an app on her phone that has the alto part singing loudly with the choir part, and she and I listened and practiced over and over while Carrie has been practicing her piano accompaniment for many weeks, memorizing it!

 

I was so proud of our Carrie this morning--playing the Easter prelude, the Easter choir song and the "Hallelujah Chorus" with the choir. 

Is it really true my second daughter is doing so well with her piano skills when all I did was teach her piano through about John Thompson 3rd grade piano books and encourage her to keep practicing?

Jonathan moved up from where he had been practicing with the bass section of the choir to sit with me during the first part of the service before the choir was to sing. His arm went around my shoulder. It just didn't seem right to sit apart on Easter Sunday morning, even if we were in different sections of the choir! 

Remember that Easter Sunday morning in Ukraine when we were first in love?

And every Easter since?

(Another couple in Easter love today down by our pond this afternoon!) 

During service I glanced around. I had been so busy this week that I had hardly thought about Easter. But here I was, in church on Resurrection Sunday, singing resurrection hymns with the congregation, listening to a beautiful arrangement of "In Christ Alone/Jesus Paid it All" played by my daughter, sitting next to my oldest daughter who was sight reading the choir music better than I, with my husband slipping into the alto row to sit beside me in the corner where there was an empty chair. 

I peeked back to see another daughter, Rose, looking so happy and pretty beside her Tommy, 

 

and the other children singing in the row ahead of them, with two others of their friends the Hagertys. 

A sweet peace and awe was in my heart. 

It was Easter, and except for Sam who attends another church, all my children were with me, worshiping Jesus together.

In the midst of an evil world, with storms raging around us, God gave us a sweet Easter service, busy and full and happy and praise-filled,

like a bouquet of bright daffodils glowing in the dark.