He Knows the BIrds--And My Heart, Too

In light of last week's tragedies--especially the death of Lester Bump, a friend of Jonathan's, I couldn't help remembering this little bluebird that my little boy found one day after the blizzard.

Danny found it huddled in a tree up the trail. Apparently it had frozen in the blizzard.

But it still looked perfectly alive and beautiful.

It was still a bluebird--one of God's creatures. 

We are always sad when we find a bird that has lost its life, often from flying into a wall or a window, and this one from not being able to withstand the elements.

I reminded my children that God sees the sparrows--and the bluebirds--when they fall.

He knows. 

He cares.

His eye is on the sparrow, the meadowlark, the finch, the mourning dove, the woodpecker. 

He is there, when just a little birdie falls to the ground. 

How much more when a friend, a son, a father, a husband, a wife, a child or a grandparent

loses his life?

We don't always understand the ways of God. We just know we live in a fallen, sinful, and hurting world, and that tragedies happen.

Little bluebirds die and strong young men are not strong enough to fight equipment whose hydraulics give out.

The fifteen-year-old from a farm family in a Nebraska community couldn't fight off the power of the feed auger. The 92-year-old grandfather in the Hunt clan couldn't fight off the power of a severe stroke in old age. Becky Harley, wife and mother of a large family near Salem, OH, couldn't resist what suddenly took her two days ago. My brother-in-law's grandfather is seriously failing in the hospital right now at 93 years old.

It is difficult to go on with life without sobering thoughts and time off to remember.

To remember how short life can be.

To pause, as this yellow-headed blackbird on our fence the other day,

to remember God.

To remember that we must be ready at a moment's notice.

In the middle of writing this, I went to my room, just to ask God something.

"Jesus," I said, as I stood by my window. "Am I ready to go?

Is there anything that would stand between me and You if something happened to me?"

Sometimes a painful memory or two will surface in moments like that. 

Situations where you did not know what to do and you just did the best you could.

You have brought it to the Lord many times, asking for His blood to cover it. 

Maybe long situations that went on and on 

Maybe there were many times you tried to make something right, not terrible sins but relationship mistakes, and the more you tried to make it right, the more offended the people became. 

And you know if you died, they would be probably turning their noses in the air during your funeral--if they even had the respect to come to the funeral.

Situations that maybe the devil torments you over, and there isn't exactly a way to make it right. 

You simply can't fix all the things in your life that went wrong.

Anyway, things like these come to mind when I ask God if I'm ready to meet Him.

I sat there then, in tears, and took my Bible, and I had already read Psalm 50 today, which is where I read the sweet verse, "I know all the birds of the  mountains," and of the prairie, too, I'm sure!

And I just started to read Psalm 51.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness. 

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions."

And the tender memory came back of exactly 40 years ago when I was reading this Psalm and praying it with tears before I knew I was saved.

Now here I am, forty years later and forty years older, reading the same Psalm, and just asking God,
"Have mercy upon me.

Wash me. Blot out my transgressions, for I acknowledge them. Purge me...Make me hear joy and gladness...Renew a steadfast spirit within me...Do not take your Holy Spirit from me...Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit...You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. 

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."

When we think about being ready to go, we realize we have no merits of our own.

We can't count the good things we've done, the restitutions we've made, not even the bitter, contrite tears we have shed, or the hours of repentant prayers.

Thankfully our salvation is not based on having pleased everyone around us.

It's not in our sacrifices or burnt offerings. It's in the contrition of a heart that trusts in Christ alone for our salvation.

And that is all I could bring to God today--a heart that could not find within itself the pride to boast of anything good I had done or the bad I had left undone,

just simply a contrite heart that knew there was nothing good in myself at all,

but only a trust in Christ alone.

And because of that, by faith, I know I am ready to go.

He knows "all the birds of the mountains" and prairies.

His eye is on the sparrow, the bluebird, and I know He knows my heart, too.

My Prince in a Ski Suit!

Jonathan is an expert skier, even if he does use skis that are rather archaic!

It's been a couple years since he went skiing, and finally the children begged long enough and hard enough and Carrie found discounted tickets and she shopped for skis and boots on Craigslist so we wouldn't have to waste money renting skis, and finally, last week, all but Crystal went skiing.

I love when Jonathan comes flying up to me on his skis, like he is about to run me over, and then suddenly at the very last moment, he turns and digs those skis into the snow, 

and he stops just far enough away that I have to take a step or two to kiss him!

He doesn't seem to mind kisses from the little lady that simply adores him!

Every few days if not more often, I check my old journal I kept in Ukraine before we were married, to see what he and I were doing exactly 25 years ago. 

This weekend 25 years ago, Jon and Esther McVey, who had accompanied Jonathan on his trip to Ukraine, were presenting him and me with an ice cream cake to celebrate being together in Kiev for two weeks!

My mission director had said, on the way to the airport to pick up Jonathan and the others, 

"My advice is to not fall in love for at least two weeks!"

Now the two weeks were up, and Jon teased us that finally we could be "officially in love."

That was 25 years ago April 7th.

Now, twenty-five years later, the prince I fell in love with is skiing down the slope with several of his children. In the photo above, Timmy was coming down that slope by himself.

And in the picture below, Carrie and Rose are coming down ahead of Jonathan and Hannah.

My prince skiing up ahead of his little daughter.

I liked these seats made from skis.

And this Christmas tree made of skis!