Household Chores--Drudgery or Joy?

 I have to admit that sometimes household chores have seemed like a drudgery, but when you are staring chemo in the face just three days away, and you don't know when or if you will ever feel well again, you suddenly appreciate the bliss of putting clean, wet clothing into the dryer, pulling it back out dry and warm, and folding it.

And then even ironing. 

I don't iron a lot, but in the summer I do try to keep Jonathan's cotton shirts and my cotton blouses looking something besides perpetually disheveled.

And of course, my favorite part of ironing is Jonathan's hankies. It's still something I do for my favorite man with love and joy.

Music Paves the Way to Prayer--and God

Jonathan and I have been grateful recently for the unusual instrument that I play, considering my inability to play other instruments very well. All my sisters and some of my daughters play piano, and some family play so many instruments. But when it comes to going into a home where a friend's mother is about to make the crossing to the Other Side, I am grateful for the simple little instrument called an autoharp.

The brother of our friend keeps asking the name of the instrument, and we tell him. For five days in a row we've been going up to sing for his Christian mother. Every day is thought to surely be her last, and extended family gathered in--only to wait, and wait.

That's when the autoharp came in handy. Jonathan and I drove up Saturday with the zucchini bread Hannah had made and a meatloaf, and we sang about an hour. We just paged through the hymnal and sang while various family members kept coming in to check on the mother or to just stand her bedside a while and monitor her oxygen. 

"What a Friend We Have in Jesus"

"The Old Rugged Cross" 

"My Jesus I Love Thee"

"Gentle Shepherd"

Over the last few days we've sung dozens of hymns, songs, and choruses as family members worked through all sorts of emotions.

"There's Not a Friend Like the Lowly Jesus"

"He Leadeth Me"

"When I am Afraid, I Will Trust in God"

"Jesus, What a Friend for Sinners"

"God Will Take Care of You"

****

 No one seemed to know what to say or do, and we didn't either.

So with the autoharp, we just sat singing as the life of a weak and helpless friend, who had spent the last year almost completely bedfast, drew near its sunset.

Sisters older than she sat grieving, wiping tears, while many in the family were stressed with family issues.

But as the autoharp strummed, calm seemed to settle in the household.  

I thought of the quote by William Congreve, 'Music has charms to soothe a savage breast."

We strummed, sang, and saw how the gift of God-inspired hymns and songs in a lowly room by a sufferer's bedside

brought peace and focus where there had been strife and misery.

We also watched how music paved the way to prayer. After finishing singing today for the fifth day in a row, Jonathan and I prayed with our friend, and then quoted the Lord's Prayer together. I told our friend that the Lord had forgiven her sins, and I felt sure there was a response.  

Together we watched for a few moments at her bedside, watching the oxygen level drop and then climb again, as the two sisters and another lady returned to the room.

"We need prayer," the one sister said, and so we offered to pray. As Jonathan prayed, I held his hand with one of mine, laying my other hand on the hand of a sister. As Jonathan prayed, I sensed another relative coming into the room, and looked up to see her clasping my elbow, wanting desperately to be in on the prayer time in a tangible way.

It was a precious moment, watching how music made way for prayer, and then prayer made way for a soul to draw near to God, desiring to touch Him even as she was touching me. 

In those moments, as Jonathan's gentle and quiet voice prayed, the room that had been filled with grief made way for peace.

And God drew near.

Charcoal River--Where Do Our Affections Lie?

Sunday Jonathan, Crystal and I took a walk down through the burn area to the river.

     

Our dog and puppy came, too, and the goats wanted to, but the gate was closed. 

It was such a lovely day, despite the burn scar. I kept having to pull sand burs out of my skirt as we walked through the field. I don't know how the fire didn't burn those!

So there was the river, still rolling along despite the devastation on the bank.  

Jonathan pointed out how the fire burned inside this hollow tree.

I didn't want to look up the way where the draw used to be so pretty with leafy trees.  Now it's a burned mess. 

"One of the reasons we bought this place," I ventured, remembering, " (aside from the fact that it was about the only land available in the area) was the beautiful view. Now it's been destroyed."

The burn scar was noticed by a Fed Ex man who drove in to deliver a package a few days ago. 

"Wasn't it scary?" he asked.

And we got to talking about the fire.

"But that's why," I told the man, "we have to remember to set our affections on things above, not on things on the earth."

Of course I ran one bin of photo albums after another out to the car that fiery day, and this wedding picture from the wall, but there really wasn't much in our house that my heart was set on.

Not even the house itself.
It is a place from which to minister, not a place for just ourselves. 

And to think that God spared it. 

He must have a plan for it and us.

Jonathan and I relaxed by the river for a while, burrs behind us, my feet dug deep into the river mud, enjoying the sunshine and the rippling water. And on the way home, noticing the little wisps of green plants already making their way through the charcoal of the prairie fire. 

Let us come through every fiery trial, Lord, with Your life continuing to manifest itself in us, and may our affections be on things above, and not on homes, or beautiful views, or even on our personal ministries. 

But on You.

And You alone, for You are our Treasure and our Reward.

 

 

Pastor Roman from Kiev Contacts Us

 It was an incredible joy a couple days ago for Jonathan to receive several photos and videos from our dear friend, Pastor Roman, who is still faithfully pastoring near Kiev, Ukraine, where we spent several years.

Above, he is baptizing his youngest daughter. In the past, he's sent us pictures of baptizing others of his children. This one to me is especially precious because of the joy his daughter is expressing.

 

And here is a picture of the VBS Pastor Roman held at his church this summer. This is the church Jonathan had helped build first of logs, but which was struck by lightning and burned, but then was rebuilt of block. Years ago, Jonathan went over with a team to help finish the basement which has been used over and over in ministry over the years. Recently during the war, it was used for a bomb shelter and a place for village women to make necessities for front-line soldiers. It is good to see the joy that has been experienced this summer despite the looming war all around. Praise God that Pastor Roman and team were able to share a time of joy and sharing the gospel with children of his community during these months. His wife is at the far left.

"Whithersoever"--Never Meant So Much to Me Before

 This morning I enjoyed some quiet time at a friend's home in Rapid City while Jonathan left early to meet the appointment for an alignment for our van and finish picking up materials at Menards for work projects. Having only my little New Testament along, I found a whole Bible sitting in the living room here so I could read Joshua chapter 1.

Our pastor's wife had suggested this passage yesterday after I texted her about going to my first appointment with an oncologist in Rapid City. (Jonathan and I got a selfie, above, of us waiting for the oncologist!) Mrs. Ambrose sent me the verse, "Be strong and of good courage...Fear not, for I am with you."

So I had decided to read that chapter for my devotions this morning. 

You would have thought that the words "Be strong" or "Be not afraid," would have stuck out to me as I wait for my first day of high dose chemo/herceptin/two other drugs (all administered in a single day) while already experiencing almost unbearable pain at times, such as last night.

Instead, a more generic word stood out to me.

"Whithersoever."

The Bible I had picked up was a King James version, so that is the word I read.

In modern vernacular, it may have said, "Wherever."

It doesn't really matter.

What it means is, "No matter where."

When the question was put to me very loudly (I dispense with saying it was yelled at me), "But what is GOD telling you to do?" about cancer treatment, my mind went blank.

I did not know. 

I don't find in the BIble anything about cancer, Champion juicers, whole-food supplements, or no-sugar recipes anymore than chemo, drugs, and anti-diarrhea meds. 

I don't find it saying "Thou shalt not go to cancer clinics and get chemo" anymore than it says "Thou shalt eat only green vegetables such as broccoli and bok choy and never touch another apple in your life like Eve did."

So when, after doing two years of all the greens, chia sprout drinks, high dose Vitamin C IVs, and many other things coupled with targeted chemo and herceptin drug therapies, and the cancer is still growing, 

I have to head to bigger guns, I guess.

I guess because I don't know. 

It would be nice if life did not have dark tunnels, if the low-carb diet and whole food supplements had miraculously cured my cancer so I wouldn't be dealing with almost unbearable pain now. 

If I had known two years ago what I know now.

I would have....but now is not the time to look back, only to look forward.

And that is where the word "whithersoever" comes in so powerfully. 

Whether I go to Arizona or Rapid City, South Dakota;

to an integrative clinic or a conventional cancer center;

to a mountain stream or city park;

to a quiet room alone or to the side of my husband and children and many others--

God will be with me. 

As long as I trust and obey Him, 

and observe to do what He has commanded in the New Testament--

especially to love God with my whole heart, mind, and strength

and my neighbor as myself, 

He will be with me wherever I go.

Whithersoever.

It never meant so much to me before. 

Now That Danny Turned Eighteen!

 Now that our youngest son Danny is 18, he's eager to join the fire department.

He's been a man for a long time, learning the skills of building, remodeling, fighting a recent fire, siding, fixing vehicles and equipment, even welding, and last but not least, problem solving.

He's good at problem solving.

 Another thing he's good at is helping to dispense with rattlesnakes around here! I had headed to the barn from the house, wanting to show Jonathan the photo our daughter Carrie had just sent of the bear she had bagged in western Colorado.

 

Upon admiring the picture, Jonathan said he'd take an evening walk down the driveway with Crystal and me. We hadn't gone very far at all in the gathering darkness when Crystal saw a snake up ahead! 

It was a rattler, and a pretty big one at that! While Jonathan kept the monster nightcrawler preoccupied with the bright phone flashlight, Crystal and I charged off for the house, hollering for Danny. I ran so fast, I was sure I left my cancer behind! :) :)

Danny didn't hear us as he was way out back milking the goats. 

But finally we got his attention, I grabbed the milk pan, and he ran off with a long-handled net while one of the girls grabbed a shovel. 

Long story short, the Lucas gang dispensed with the rattler. The same evening Carrie had bagged a bear, Danny literally bagged a rattler. He was getting ready to leave to go camping in CO with his brothers for his birthday, so we coiled it up in a bag for him to skin later. He warned me that he was putting it in the freezer, and not to panic if I opened the freezer door!

Crystal fried up a bunch of sausage patties for her brothers' breakfasts while camping--and then we left them in the freezer and forgot to send them along! Such is life.

Danny had asked for stir fry for his birthday supper.  

 And brownies. So Crystal made a low-sugar brownie recipe.

And we had Pastor Ambrose for supper since some other friends we'd invited weren't able to come. He brought a very special gift--a belt with a rattlesnake skin buckle! I'll try to get a picture of it later.  

I Will Trust When I Cannot See

 A song by John Peterson that Jonathan and I sang two Sundays ago.

"When I cannot understand God's leading,  
When I do not know the reason why  
He should choose the path that lies before me,  
Still to Him in faith I can reply:  
 
I will trust when I cannot see,  
When I'm faced with adversity,  
And believe Your will is always best for me  
I will trust when I cannot see.  

When I feel the sting of disappointment  
And my dreams lie crumbled in the dust  
When my best adds up to loss and failure  
And the things that happen seem unjust:    

I will trust when I cannot see,  
When I'm faced with adversity,  
And believe Your will is always best for me  
I will trust when I cannot see.   

When I face the furnace of affliction 

And the pain seems more than I can bear,  

When I think it strange this fiery trial 

Still I'll tell my blessed Lord in prayer.   

I will trust when I cannot see,  
When I'm faced with adversity,  
And believe Your will is always best for me  
I will trust when I cannot see.  

 

 

Not the Plan, but the Shepherd

 A few weeks ago, I received a text that my friend Judy, whom I met a year ago at my clinic in  Arizona, had gone to be with Jesus.

She arrived at the clinic one week before I did, and we both left Arizona on exactly the same day. The night before Jonathan and I set off from Arizona to Colorado, we went to see Judy and her family. They were packing their vehicle for the long trip home to their home state. We gave her a flower pot and we hugged goodbye.

We did not know that one week later, Judy would go on to be with the Lord. And that we would be buying more flowers--this time online for the funeral home to deliver to the visitation and funeral.

If anyone was believing for healing it was Judy and her family.

 

The only way I can look at it with peace is to understand that her passing into eternal life was a perfect healing.

That does give me peace.

Perfect peace. 

Maybe not perfect understanding, but perfect peace.

The snapshot below is something that meant a lot to me when I was asked very strongly by a new acquaintance what I was hearing from God about how to proceed with treatments for my own cancer.

 

Surely God was not saying chemo, for example! Chemo is horrible.

Chemo is toxic.

How can chemo be from God?

Well, I know it isn't from God anymore than cancer is from God or vitamins are from God or green juice is from God.  

I felt bad that I could not answer this person. 

How could I tell her that I was having a hard time hearing from God about what to do about my cancer?

I wanted to cry. 

Because, yes, where was God's voice? If I knew it, I would follow so quickly. 

I thought God wanted me to go natural--until it wasn't working.

Then I just tried to do my best--without any particular guidance from an inner Voice--but I felt God was with me all the way these last 13 months.

Now I am considering chemo, and just when I felt at peace about it in Colorado, the door seemed to slam in my face.

So now I am in South Dakota pursuing again, and just waiting.

Spending my time, as I wait for the soonest appointment possible, living as normally as possible--including canning pickles--knowing the cancer is growing, noting sharper and deeper pain when the jabs happen.

And feeling helpless.

Without a plan, 

but with a Good Shepherd.

Fire!

Last week our community experienced a prairie fire that burned 15,000-20,000 acres, including part of our property. Apart from the providence of God, it came close to destroying our home.

 Hot, dry weather the last three months has left the grass parched and the earth cracked. Late Thursday morning, we noticed smoke coming our way and learned that there was a fire probably not more than a mile from us. With hot wind gusts up to 50 mph, we didn’t have much time. 

 

Jonathan got a garden hose busy spraying around the house. But soon the smoke was blowing by looking deadly.

I (Anna) was having to evacuate with our most important items, having Hannah help me haul out computers, bins of photo albums and journals, and other important items to the Honda. Crystal had been gone to the courthouse to update her documents since she's moved but came out to see smoke and beat it for home.

 I took off with the Honda while Jonathan and the children stayed behind with fire trucks and firemen to try to save the house and barn. Danny used our poor old skid steer to make a fire break until it quit working. But what were the odds that a grader and earth mover had been working not far away and came roaring down to make a fire break?  

One fireman told us that he had received the assignment to simply stand up on the hill near our house and watch to make sure we were okay. This sentinel stood for hours, like a guardian angel, watching for any fire spreading our direction or flare-ups. 

Other firemen were all over the place, hosing down at the fire’s edge and keeping the fire from spreading to our neighbor’s homes as well. Danny is one in the picture above with a shovel. 

 

Jonathan, Danny, and even Hannah spent the day fighting fires among the trees in the draws and by the river, as well as using shovels to put out hot spots near the house.

The Lord’s care for us that day was shown in so many ways. First, Jonathan, who is almost always gone to work, had stayed home to take care of paper work. Danny was helping a friend extract honey, but he was only 20 minutes away. Crystal’s babysitting job had been cancelled that day, so she was close to home. Mrs. Ambrose, our pastor’s wife, insisted I stay with her where I was able to rest after loading the vehicle and nearly collapsing. 

That very morning, the verses I had been praying over were Psalm 91:5-6, “You shall not be afraid...of the destruction that lays waste at noonday,” the exact time the fire was laying waste our direction. And verse 7, “A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.”  That evening, after the fire had passed, we heard that the fire went 10 miles in three hours and had already burned 10,000 acres. Later we heard it had reached 30,000 acres, but that got tempered down to 15 or 20,000. Our own rancher neighbor said he lost 70% of their grass and hay for their cattle. 

The scene above is what I saw from the high point of our road when the worst of the fire had passed our place and had already raged on probably nearly 10 miles by that time. I decided to go back home. The fire is still burning above our neighbor rancher's place in this picture, and kept flaring up for days. 

Jonathan, Danny and Hannah worked for hours putting out fires in the draws.

Danny got this selfie with a burning tree in the background. They dragged a water tank around to douse fires.  

A hillside scene 

A fence scene.

We are grateful that about the worst loss we sustained was some fence posts and fencing. The fence had to come down in one area so fire trucks could go through.

Jonathan and Danny hadn't even had lunch. Danny was ill that day, but he worked all day anyway.  

I happened to have thawed some smoked grouse the night before, so I sent baggies of smoked grouse pieces out to my guys. Jonathan loved it!

He also was grateful for juicy watermelon! 

While the others were gone checking elsewhere for hot spots, Crystal and I noticed a flareup just down from the house. I had filled a couple jugs for just such an emergency, and while I called Jonathan on the phone for help, she dashed down through the scratchy weeds to the edge of the black field. Jonathan promised to be right there while I ran out by the garage to find a shovel. With great and wondrous courage I arrived in time to bang on some clods of burning weeds that she was still dousing with water. Jonathan and Danny arrived about the same time. 

The horizon still had spots glowing as darkness settled.

Jonathan and Danny were up well past midnight checking for hot spots and flare-ups. They and I took turns setting the alarm and getting up through the night to check for flare-ups around us. 

The next day our neighbor above us said he came and stood on the top of the hill to look at where the fire had gone, and he saw the obvious way the fire had veered around our house with a shift of the wind. He was certain a Higher Power had been at work. 

Today Jonathan filled in for our pastor who was not feeling well, speaking on the subject of “Protection from the Coming Fire.” Using examples from our neighborhood’s experiences this week, he shared how God has warned us that the fire of judgment is coming, but God has made provision to save us from that judgment through Christ. Then he and I sang together an old spiritual that my brother Elon, sister Dorcas, and I used to sing as a trio years ago.
“Oh, my lovin’ brother, when the world’s on fire,
Don’t you want God’s bosom to be your pillow.
Hide me over in the Rock of Ages,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me.”
This afternoon Jonathan, Danny and a couple church men are going out to visit another rancher and church friend, Scott, who has also suffered losses. There are still hot spots. While exploring where the fire started, today Jonathan and Danny discovered a burning log and walked down to the river to get jugs of water to douse it out. Pray for rain in our area and for God to undertake for the losses our neighboring ranchers are sustaining.