When Someone Throws You the Ball

One night a few weeks ago just before retiring for the night, as I sat on my bed exhausted, I picked up this little book,

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.

I opened it up and a bookmark was at this section:
   "If Someone Throws You the Ball, You Don't Have to Catch It."

I have to say that  this section was incredibly helpful to me, so I'm sharing it.
It said,
"Often our inner struggles come from our tendency to jump on board someone else's problem; someone throws you a concern and you assume you must catch it, and respond. For example, suppose you're really busy when a friend calls in a frantic tone and says, "My mother is driving me crazy. What should I do?" Rather than saying, "I'm really sorry but I don't know what to suggest," you automatically catch the ball and try to solve the problem. Then later, you feel stressed or resentful that you are behind schedule and that everyone seems to be making demands on you. It's easy to lose sight of your willing participation in the dramas of your own life.

Remembering that you don't have to catch the ball is a very effective way to reduce the stress in your life. When your friend calls, you can drop the ball, meaning you don't have to participate simply because he or she is attempting to lure you in. If you don't take the bait, the person will probably call someone else to see if they will become involved.

This doesn't mean you never catch the ball, only that it's your choice to do so. Neither does this mean that you don't care about your friend, or that you're crass or unhelpful. Developing a more tranquil outlook on life requires that we know our own limits and that we take responsibility for our part in the process. Most of us get balls thrown at us many times each day--at work, from our children, friends, neighbors, salespeople, even strangers...The key is to know when we're catching another ball so that we won't feel victimized, resentful, or overwhelmed.

 "Even something terribly simple like answering your phone when you're really too busy to talk is a form of catching the ball. By answering the phone, you are willingly taking part in an interaction that you may not have the time, energy, or mind-set for at the present time. By simply not answering the phone you are taking responsibility for your own peace of mind.

"The same idea applies to being insulted or criticized. When someone throws an idea or comment in your direction, you can catch it and feel hurt, or you can drop it and go on with your day.

"The idea of 'not catching the ball' simply because it's thrown to you is a powerful tool to explore. I hope you'll experiment with this one. You may find that you catch the ball a lot more than you think you do."

 Maybe most people out there are just so mature they don't need to be reminded of things like this.
Imagine being criticized and just calmly going about your day!
Imagine having someone insult you and just acting like nothing happened
instead of letting it ruin your life.
Just imagine!