Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

We'd been embarrassed about our poor, dilapidated old van so long that we had no idea how bad we'd feel when we had to part with it.
But the insurance company sent a tow truck, and last night our poor, dear old van went bye-bye.

All of a sudden, it felt like we were losing an old friend. 

Crazy!

Paint had been peeling off the hood and front panels of the van for years (after our accident Sunday we discovered why! Apparently the van had been in an accident before we bought it, and had been puttied and painted, and that's why only the front paint was peeling.)

There were hail dents, scratches, and dings all over it. The windshield was cracked almost all the way across. 

The inside panel off one of the rear doors was off because after multiple tries of fixing it, the plastic screw things would never work.

Ceiling heat registers had finally fallen out one last time. 

The transmission was hesitating when we put it in gear. The key struggled to work. There was a dent on the hood from hitting an owl years ago.

Both headlight frames were broken from the deer Rose hit in Pennsylvania last year, and the one headlight was hanging in there sheerly by coincidence plus a little black tape. Or was it grey tape?

So why did we feel like we were losing an old friend?
Well, precisely because it had been faithful to us for a long time.
Old friends are people or possessions who have stood by you through thick and thin.
They may be old. They may be missing some paint and some parts and even some marbles!
But they have been faithful for a long time.
Not just a short time and you don't know if they will shrink into the woodwork as soon as you get into trouble or make a mistake.

This van had been faithful for a long time.
With the exception of sometimes when the battery was worn out or someone had left a door open and a light on,
it always started, even in the coldest weather. 
It may not have looked the greatest aesthetically, but I could trust that it would get me where I was going.
Friends help you get where you need to go.
They may confront you if you are going the wrong way, but they will help you turn around and then they will stick with you on the journey. And remember this, my heart. It is a true friend who speaks up to you if you are going wrong.
It's humiliating to be told you are going wrong, but it is part of true friendship.
The way you tell it is a true friend and not just someone out to pick at your faults and control your life so they can feel better about themselves
 is the method they use in how they confront you, and how they treat you afterward.
Do they speak, call or write to you personally about your mistake and allow for conversation and reconciliation, or do they refuse to talk or go behind your back about it?
Do they still speak to you after they've let you know your mistake or your sin?
Do they have enough wisdom to know when enough conversation about it is enough?
 Do they still treat you like you are a person of value,
or like you are just somebody in the way of their personal agenda?
A faithful friend is there to help you pick up the pieces, and to unselfishly include you still in their life.
They comfort you when you take a beating.

For ten years, this old van sat there waiting to take in this motley Lucas bunch and help us get where we needed to go.
  It has taken us to church every Sunday--sometimes 90 miles one way to Denver.

It has taken me grocery shopping and goodwill shopping and to the post office and library and the park and the airport.
It has taken us to umpteen homeschool get-togethers and has driven across country to missions and family and friends.

"Be sure to get a picture of it getting loaded onto the tow truck!" insisted Jonathan who happened to be in the shower at the precise moment when the tow truck arrived for the van.
So I did.
Old friends are to be treasured. They are precious. They are to be remembered and appreciated more often than at Christmas and New Years.
Their friendship is a great service and blessing to us.
"Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not," said the Good Book.
And "There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
We have had some faithful friends, friends from church, friends from the home school community, friends among business associates, friends among some of our own family and relatives, to name a few.

There were a few times our van let us down, and even your good old friends let you down.
The dear old van had parts that wore out and it would shake like crazy till we fixed them. We had to get new tires and fix a little of this and a little of that. We had to buy a new battery more than once.
Not all good friendships are perfect. Some wear out a bit, or mistakes are made. They say things and do things and they break your heart.
They neglect to say things and they neglect to do things and they wound you.
They unintentionally betray you.
I've sat like a stone when I heard how I'd been betrayed by someone who seemed to live very close to God and was a person of prayer and high-sounding blessings, and whom I thought I could trust to ask for help in prayer with some details of some struggles I was facing.
And I was betrayed.
I could have confronted. I wanted to so bad. I felt it was done in error and foolishness and unintentional, not knowing how the person they talked to would use it against us. 

Hate and bitterness are too heavy a load to carry.

My heart, choose forgiveness. 

After all, I have hurt others. I have said things and done foolish, hurtful things that should not have been done,

and I have neglected to say or do wise things that should have been done.

(I learned a bit more wisdom afterward, through the hard knocks of experience.) 

"To err is human. To forgive, divine."

My heart, don't let the foolish, human errors of others determine our attitude and destiny.

 Instead, be a friend today to someone in need.
We can't befriend everyone. Some aren't safe; some are not on the same page; some do not want to be friends with us because we refuse to cooperate with their agenda.
And we are human rather than divine.
Our van could not tote more than twelve people at any one time .
We have limits, too.
 Due to our lack of divinity, we can't be a close friend to more than a few people.
But we can be a friend to someone.

Goodbye, dear old van. It's been good to have known you. You taught us a lesson in faithfulness and dependability and  friendship.