Her First Roses for Valentines Day!

Rose was so excited to bring home the roses that her boyfriend gave her on Valentines Day Eve!

We have waited a long time for this to happen to one of our children,

 

 but getting the right one is worth the wait!

Tommy said it felt awfully awkward going through the store carrying a bouquet of flowers for the first time in his life, with all the ladies smiling at him, 

but, he said to Rose, "you were worth it!"

Tommy is a good worker.

Some time ago he was the one who put up a coat hook hangar up for his mother.  

While everyone one else dished out suggestions, 

and Rose proudly watched.  

One of the board games the families played together.  

And here's a long ago picture of Rose and her elk.

And then this picture just this past Sunday. All our girls got a chance to hold a wee baby.

So thankful for the joys the Lord brings along!

When We Are Scared of New Things

Two or three weeks ago our neighbor's horses kept being startled by a new phenomenon coming down the road outside their fence--me!

I started exercising in earnest, after learning how our lymph systems require movement in order to do their job of detoxifying. If there is cancer in my lymph, I need to exercise to get that lymph working and draining and detoxifying.

And the neighbors' horses are having to get used to me.

 At first, every time I came near, they spooked.  

And I felt bad.

Poor horsies! Having their breakfast interrupted by a strange person showing up!

I didn't mean to scare them. I was just walking down the road!

However, it didn't take very long before those horses were getting used to me. 

In a matter of days, they weren't even raising their heads when I went by. 

They would just keep munching their hay, occasionally pausing to observe this lady who was tramping by in her coat, boots, leggings, scarf and gloves.

Oh, and water bottle in her pocket. 

In case, in this dry Colorado air, I would dry out and hardly be able to breathe. That has happened to me several times.

But sunshine or snow, I've got to get out there.

If I don't move, my lymph system won't work. It's that simple. 

And the horses--well-- they taught me a lesson, too. 

New things startled them, just like new and strange things startle me.  

New things like cancer diagnoses.

And recipes for special cancer-fighting teas.

 

But if you accept those new things, you can quickly adjust and get used to them.  

New regimen to include a cancer-fighting protocol? It takes adjusting, but we can get used to it. 

We don't have to be afraid of it.

New things are hard.

And Change is harder. 

But as the good hymn says, 

"Be still my soul; the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. 

Leave to thy God to order and provide; 

In every change, He faithful will remain. 

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still my soul; thy God doth undertake 

To guide the future as He has the past. 

Thy hope, they confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and wind still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still my soul; the hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past

All safe and blessed we shall be at last."

His Eye Is on the Sparrow--and on This Cancer Patient

Yesterday Jonathan and I had my first consultation with our integrative cancer doctor. He's an MD that works in a regular hospital with cancer patients, but he is a doctor who integrates natural and alternative supplements, treatments, and support along the way. 

After our consultation, Jonathan and I looked at each other and could hardly stop hugging each other. 

God had led us to the right doctor for me!

 After going over my biopsy and MRI reports and questions of general health, when  I expressed that I did not want surgery but wanted to go natural in my cancer fight, he agreed, "Let's go that direction!"

 

I about fell through the floor. It was exactly what I had been praying for. This doctor is willing to support me however I choose to go about surgery. The main issue is to keep the cancer from spreading.

He looked at me with his head tilted at one point, after reading the recommendation by the radiologist who did the report, "Immediate surgical recommendation made."

"You mean you didn't just do what you were told?" he asked.

When I laughed and said no, he said, "You are a t h r e a t to the medical system!"

The doctor will have staff do some further checking about my diagnoses, such as what kind of cancer is it.

Is it estrogen positive? etc. 

He'll order a number of lab tests such as Vit. D levels in my blood, inflammation markers, etc. These tests will help him determine a protocol. Our goal, he said, is to limit the spread of the cancer by natural means.

The doctor went over some of what I am already taking and recommended whether I should stay on it or not. The essiac tea I can stay on. He will recommend enzymes and other supplements. I should definitely stay on modified citrus pectin, which inhibits cancer cells spreading. I just finished my big bottle, so we need to buy more. Seems every day we are having to spend more money for me and my cancer...

He recommended an immediate lifestyle change to include going to bed early, at 8:30. He said, and I've read, that your body does most of its rejuvenating in the early hours of the night after dark, before midnight. 

There was so much more, but in a nutshell, these are some of the things we discussed.

 When we told the doctor that we were waiting until this consultation to decide whether to go ahead with our plans for South Dakota, he indicated we could go ahead just as we planned.

"I can do everything from a distance," he said, via Zoom. He will help to keep tabs on how I am progressing, and will  let me know if, in the end, surgery may be in my best interest. But for now, he is willing to help me keep the cancer under control. 

We are so deeply grateful. 

I personally have a different goal. I want to see the cancer GONE, not just under control.

I'm not planning to stop until it's in remission and I am completely healed. 

But I hope the process doesn't keep us from getting into the work in South Dakota. 

So, Lord willing, we are planning another trip to South Dakota probably this coming week. 

I'll be spending half my time just taking care of myself, but I may as well do it up there as here. Up there I get lots of exercise and the altitude is about a mile lower. I always felt better up there in SD. 

So we continue to trust the Lord, Who watches over each sparrow that He has made, 

 and Who surely is watching over this other Little Brown Sparrow that He has made.

When Something Does NOT Work

Not everything I have done to fight this cancer has worked for me. 

Transparency here!

I've kept articles and books through the years that deal with natural treatments for cancer. 

Many of them are so radical or so expensive, that I just can't consider them. 

But I am finding my way.

And I don't believe my tumor is growing any while I'm at it. 

And my hair seems to be darkening slightly and coming in better. I just noticed hair coming in about one inch long that didn't used to be there. Is it the essiac tea or the diatomaceous earth that is so rich in silica? Silica that is needed to fight cancer and grow hair and strengthen nails.

Chemo treatment won't grow hair for me.

But when people want to criticize radical treatments for cancer that are natural, how unradical is it to let someone slice part of your body off,  replace it with something artificial, and then systematically and purposely pour poison into your veins for weeks or months at a time and then burn you with radiation?

Just how gentle and wonderful and soothing is that??

You are so sick you are throwing up all the time; your hair falls out; and the cancer often comes back anyway, and with a vengeance. 

While a couple friends have had success going the conventional route, perhaps because they were nurses or caregivers and knew what kind of questions to ask and products and helps to ask for, I have seen enough friends and acquaintances die of cancer and suffer with its customary treatment that I am as leary of it as the plague. 

The essiac tea I'm on with eight cancer-fighting herbs is something that is working.

No side effects. I just have to religiously take it three times a day on an empty stomach.

Monday I got inspired to try another cancer-fighting method. 

Juicing. 

Thousands of people have been cured of cancer by juicing their way to health. I tried carrot juice when I was young, and it made me feel awful. 

But now that I have cancer, maybe I should try it again, anyway. Right? I decided that since we had a bunch of organic produce in the fridge, I'd juice some of them.

Easier said than done. 

First the juicer a nephew had brought from my mom was missing a tool to take it apart to wash it. When I saw how much it would cost to order that tool online, I came up with the brilliant idea to have Danny make the tool for me. 

He did!

He looked at the tool online, and Jonathan told him how to make it. 

 

Those cut-off nails stick into holes and then I can unscrew the juicing blade to wash it. 

Long story short, after forty-five minutes of merely preparing the machine, I get busy juicing homemade sprouts, arugula, carrot, celery, a quarter of a pear, and a quarter of an organic beet. 

When I got done, bits of veggies and whole sprouts were hanging upside down on the white kitchen wall!

A bunch of pulp was wadded up in the pulp canister. Seemed a waste to me, but the chickens will love it.

Undeterred, I poured my precious juice into a glass and looked at it. What color was it anyway?

Then I smelled it.

That was a mistake.

"It smells like skunk!" I mourned out loud. 

"It's the sprouts!" Jonathan declared. 

"The arugula!" I disagreed. "That arugula is strong!"

Nevertheless, bravely I started drinking that stuff. 

My hat is off to all the amazing people who have juiced their way to health. If it had made me feel good, I would have kept juicing. But a few hours later, I was feeling the worst I have felt in I don't know how long. I know it's possible I could tweak the timing, but I made the decision then and there that juicing like that is not for me, not with my blood sugar struggles. Maybe sometime in the future it would work, but not right now.Thank you.

Instead, I am blessed to get to drink a powdered cancer-fighting supplement from Juice Plus, a company that uses lots of fruits and vegetables in their products. It's concentrated and delicious. It makes me feel better, gives me energy.

A friend sent it to me, and I'm gratefully taking it.  

It's too soon to say for sure what the outcomes will be for all these things I'm doing. But for today, I am grateful for the natural things that work for me. 

And for the sweet tokens of care from friends. My home school friend sent me this book to read during this journey.

The problem with it was that I did not want to set it down!

But I decided that each day after I'd taken my walk and gotten my exercise, (in between my doses of essiac tea) I'd reward myself with reading a story in this book.  

There are things that are going to work for me, and things that aren't. 

I need Your patience, Lord, and Your wisdom. 

Lead us clearly, as my husband has been praying. 

Lead us to what works best for me.

Pleasant Visit--But!

Sunday our family took dinner in to Jonathan's dad's place. Here Carrie, Danny, and Hannah are carrying in food and dinner things.

Tommy came with us, too. 

I like to snap little peeks of him and Rose.

Tommy holds the door for Rose.

It's sweet watching their happiness and love to each other.

We were having such a pleasant time at the table, when all of a sudden, I remembered.

"But I have cancer."

Right in the middle of the joy around the table,

 just like that, my heart nearly froze.

I had to choose to stop fearing and to trust God.

To stop being afraid and be in the moment.

To stop thinking about the future and be thankful for this dinner time today. 

As Chris Wark of chrisbeatcancer.com said in Square One Healing Cancer Coaching Program,

 "In the middle of fear is when you exercise your faith."

He told how fear was something he dealt with every day when he had cancer.

"Most days I would get distracted, busy working, and I'd forget about cancer for a little while. Then I'd be reminded and there'd come that tidal wave of fear. But I learned to catch myself right in that fearful moment and say, '

'God, I'm giving You my fear. I'm laying it at the feet of Jesus. 

I'm not going to be afraid.

I trust You."

That's what he prayed every day, multiple times a day. He had to learn to "give all the what-ifs, the uncertainty, and the fear to God."

Me, too, Lord.

I give my fears to You.

Be Still and Know--He is the God Who Heals

About a week ago the whole family was gone--some to work, some skiing with friends. 

When everyone is gone is when I draw close to the Lord.

The little Scripture song came to me that day, "Be Still and Know That I Am God."

I sat down at the piano to play and sing.

Don't anyone listen to me play the piano--it's not the greatest. But I was singing to the Lord, and I was quite sure He didn't care if I hit all the right notes or not.

When I got to the second verse, I was about getting goosebumps.

"I am the Lord that healeth Thee."

It repeats this three times.

"I am the Lord that healeth thee. I am the Lord that healeth thee."

I sang that reverently.

Then "In Thee, O Lord, I put my trust."

In these days of waiting to talk to our oncologist and doing our best to research and determine the best treatment for my cancer, this is all my plea.

Lord, I am still before You.

You are the One Who heals me.

In You O Lord, I put my trust."  

I am taking essiac tea (a combination of eight herbs) as if my life depended on it, for it might,

but "in You, O Lord, I put my trust."

Don't let me be ashamed. 

For I put my trust in You!