With Castaway Denim, Make Quilts

  My heart was in my fingertips a while ago--ready to type.

About quilts--these darling quilts (made by Nebraska friends of SIM, from discarded denim jeans)--

and disappointments--

and what to do when one's hopes are in pieces like those discarded jeans.

It seemed like maybe it wasn't the right time to type, though--when my heart was hurting so much,

reading a happy announcement from a sister

while watching one of my own children navigating a big disappointment.

 Definitely one of those times when I need to remind myself that comparisons are not healthy.

It's just that you can't help comparing.

And that is why a mother has to slip away from the keyboard and go to her God by the window. 

"I must not work out my disappointment by typing," I told myself, "but by turning to my God alone."

And so there I stood by my bedroom window, willing myself to rely not on my own little ways of coping, 

but on God alone.   

And that is when a beautiful thing happened. 

 Just as my eyes closed in a quiet surrender, I felt something warm on my lash-less eyelids. 

The sun had just come out from behind a cloud!

The sun had been behind clouds most of the last several days, and it was at the moment of surrender to God alone

that it came out from behind the clouds and shone

on a simple little South Dakota missionary mom standing by a bedroom window.

God Himself was reaching out to me with the warmth of the sunshine on my face

as I gave to God alone

all the denim pieces of our hearts.