There have been a few times in my life that I was mad at God--unlike more pious persons.
But one of the times I was maddest at God was years ago (hopefully many, many years ago) after hearing or reading a story about a Christian lady who loved to work in her flower garden. She would get up early and work for maybe a couple hours each day, and her flower gardens were lovely.
Until God asked her to give up her time working in the flower garden. She was supposed to spend that time praying or in ministry, I can't remember exactly, and may no longer work her flower beds.
This lady--I don't remember her name--was praying at an altar and wrestling with God, not wanting to have to give up her treasured flowers. But finally she yielded to give them up, and before she even rose from the altar, what should her eyes behold, but a flower pot with the most beautiful lily in it, that someone was wanting to give her!
Testimony later was that she was never without flowers after that, whether in pots or vases, that people gave her or that came to her in one way or another. She gave up working in her flower beds, but God saw to it that she was never without flowers.
As for me, however, I seethed at God's cruelty. This dear lady loved working with her own hands in her own flower beds, but no, she may not do that anymore. She must do God's work of ministry of whatever kind it was. She may not again enjoy her own flowers but must accept flowers in pots or vases.
I used to feel guilty for not liking to get my hands in the chalky dirt and planting flowers. I felt guilty for NOT doing it, because to me it seemed lazy to just rather stay indoors and not get my hands dirty. This poor lady, however, must feel guilty for doing it. God was just cruel. He just wants us to have to do things we don't like to do, and not do things we do like to do. He is just plain mean like that.
And I was mad at Him. As far as I was concerned, He could just keep the lily in the flower pot.
I had to work hard to stop being mad at Him about that. I think I had to just stop thinking about that story. I had to put that lady into God's hands. If she was overdoing her flowers time, that was up to her and God.
Maybe it wasn't any of my business.
As for me, it was my business to ask God what He wanted from me. If God wanted another lady to give up her flower beds, that was His business, and hers. If He wanted me to get my hands dirty and try to plant some bulbs and seeds and weed them later and hope for blooms to beautify my poor little home's outdoors, then that is my business.
Mostly, it is my business to let God be God, and let me just be His servant. To put in a mystery bag (as my mom would say) the things I don't understand, and to simply hold God's hand.
We know some things from God's Word--that He is not mean or cruel. He is good, holy, kind, merciful, gentle, forgiving, giving, and caring. Sometimes we may misunderstand His plan for us and think He is requiring more than He is--or less. But He keeps guiding and helping and giving grace--and providing pots of lilies if a woman feels she needs to give up flower gardening.
Or providing a daughter to do the gardening--as is the case with me. I don't have the energy to garden much, but Hannah does. She loves it. And God is not telling her to stop. (So neither am I!)
Whether He wants me to work in a flower garden or spend my time in prayer and ministry, that is up to Him. I can lay aside my foolish anger and trust that He wants what is best for me. And together, that lady with the lily and I--we will pray, minister, worship, trust a good God, and enjoy the flowers--whether in pots or flower beds--together!
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