God Is My Ice Cream Cone

Last week I had to go back to Rapid City (2 1/4 hours one way) for my one-week after-chemo labs and to see the oncologist, as well as my 6-month checkup with the surgeon. One week post-chemo, I was feeling, to be honest, terrible.

Because Jonathan had a very long list of plumbing parts, lumber, and other business material to find at Menards, I asked him to just drop me at the cancer center and please just go get as much done as he could so that when I was done with all my appointments, we could just go on home. 

I sat in what were thankfully comfortable chairs near this fake gas fireplace in between being called for blood draw, oncology, radiology, and surgery departments. I had eaten boiled eggs for breakfast and I ate a salad I had brought for lunch with avocado and goat cheese in it to make it something more than lettuce and celery. And we were planning to purchase take-out meals at Pancheros before heading home. 

Most of the time, I cannot turn to food for comfort anymore, mostly only for sustenance, and so I have to turn to other things to give life any meaning and joy--which can be tricky.

As a Christian, I know I am supposed to live for Jesus, and for God's glory above all else. But as a human being as well, I do find that I need some things to give my human life meaning and comfort--like meaningful things to do, good people to love, beauty to enjoy, even good food and hot drinks. How do we live solely for Jesus in our human and very earthly body?

One of the things Jonathan and I have done so far in my cancer journey has been to do something special or go somewhere beautiful after my chemo treatments or miserable trips and appointments or whatever. Not every time, but most of the time. 

Usually somewhere close to where I am being treated there will be parks or spots of seasonal beauty.

The week I got chemo, I was able to take a short walk at a park where we could admire the amazing artistry of God's frost everywhere!

But this week, I had nothing to look forward to. There was no frost, and no time to do anything except wait for appointments in front of the fake gas fireplace in the cancer care center and then sit in the car for another hour or two while Jonathan frantically tried to gather up the last minute lumber and other items he needed at Menards for more than one job. 

  

And then when we did stop at Safeway so I could run in to see if they had sugar-free icecream, I forgot the very thing I went in for! I was feeling so awful and just craving ice cream for something wet and good to help me feel better--and then I got other things first so the ice cream wouldn't thaw, and then forgot what I really wanted! 

It was while waiting in the vehicle at Menards that I hastily wrote this poem on the back of the Menards pick-up sheet of paper while Jonathan tried to find everything.

Today I planned a treat to buy,
Sugar-free ice cream I would try.
I hurried into Safeway fast
And first found veggies for health's repast.
I grabbed a few unexpected sales
And stood in line with all the snails.
I met my hubby right on track 
And unloaded my cart and pushed it back.
Then settled in my seat to go;
We still had errands to run also.
Then suddenly a light bulb flashed.
I'd forgotten the ice cream in my dash! 

That's what I went in there for;
It's why I stopped at the grocery store! 
I'd bought carrots, celery, and organic bananas
And salsa con queso with corn chips for Anna. 
But ice cream? Ice cream was still on the shelf!
 I sputtered and sighed to my poor little self! 
We drove to our errands and I sat subdued.
I wanted my ice cream. C'mon, wouldn't you? 
But I had none. Do I sigh and weep,
Curl up in a self-pitying heap? 
My hands were folded in my lap. 
I let go of ice cream and I looked up. 
"Lord, You are my comfort," I told my God 
Though in these days that may sound odd. 

"You are my solace to whom I turn
When for small pleasure my emotions yearn.
O Lord, You are my comfort zone,
My coffee cup, my ice cream cone!
You are the pleasure that I lack.
I taste of You and turn not back. 

(For the record, we found a little grocery store in Wall on our way home that had sugar-free icecream, and I got to lick icecream for a long time! Yum!)