When Chemo Makes Me Daft

When Chemo Makes Me Daft

Chemo knocked my white blood cells out,

I feel defenseless, there's no doubt.

          My kidneys ache, my stomach churns,

My bladder yells, my colon burns.

My skin is dry and chapped and peeled.

My eyes are tired, my strength congealed.

My nails jag, brown spots appear.

"New beauty spots!" the chemos sneer.  

My nose is constantly a-drip

While I my daily potions sip.

My lips are parched, my tongue is sore;

My throat is dry and there is more.

I lay me down but cannot sleep;

I feel so bad, I want to weep.

I wake up in a frenzied gasp

With throat constricted like a clasp.

I can't relax, I cannot breathe;

Taxed nerves in a tizzy seethe.

I feel a tremor on my right;

Now on my left it quivers quite.

My chest is tight, my heart's a-thump,

I look in the mirror and see a frump. 

Strange pains at random places jab

While lotion on dry skin I dab.

My legs are weak, my bones do ache,

What else is wrong, for pity's sake?

My nose and ears have painful crust;

My teeth feel like I never brush.

My gums are sore, my throat is clogged.

My energy has run a-bog.

My throat is tight; my lungs are worse.

My voice box squeaks I tell the nurse.

I cannot sing; my voice cracks.

Electrolytes are my new snacks.

I must not cry; I must be brave

As lemon I drink and salt I crave.

 

Staph bumps are bursting into boils,

A fourth or fifth is hurting royal.

Test results will take some days

To tell us for sure, the doctor says,

Before antibiotic she prescribes,

So I must endure the painful jibes.

I don't suppose this list's complete,

But writing it has been a feat. 

When lists are long of health complaints

I'll try to put on a restraint.

There's got to be one thing at least

To be thankful for despite this beast.

Yes, underneath my knitted hat

Still hang three hairs--now think of that!

Chemo has not won the war.

I'm counting again. Now I spy four!

If I keep countin', I might find more

That  refused to fall out on the floor.

A few gray hairs still in the strife

Are hanging on as for dear life!

And while my brain has gone on strike,

My sense of humor's had a spike.

I cannot sleep I've gone so daft!

I may as well awake and laugh!

 

by Anna Lucas, chemo patient ( or impatient, whatever the case may be)