Sunday, September 15, 2024

Not the Plan, but the Shepherd

 A few weeks ago, I received a text that my friend Judy, whom I met a year ago at my clinic in  Arizona, had gone to be with Jesus.


She arrived at the clinic one week before I did, and we both left Arizona on exactly the same day. The night before Jonathan and I set off from Arizona to Colorado, we went to see Judy and her family. They were packing their vehicle for the long trip home to their home state. We gave her a flower pot and we hugged goodbye.
We did not know that one week later, Judy would go on to be with the Lord. And that we would be buying more flowers--this time online for the funeral home to deliver to the visitation and funeral.
If anyone was believing for healing it was Judy and her family.
 
The only way I can look at it with peace is to understand that her passing into eternal life was a perfect healing.
That does give me peace.
Perfect peace. 
Maybe not perfect understanding, but perfect peace.
The snapshot below is something that meant a lot to me when I was asked very strongly by a new acquaintance what I was hearing from God about how to proceed with treatments for my own cancer.
 
Surely God was not saying chemo, for example! Chemo is horrible.
Chemo is toxic.
How can chemo be from God?
Well, I know it isn't from God anymore than cancer is from God or vitamins are from God or green juice is from God.  
I felt bad that I could not answer this person. 
How could I tell her that I was having a hard time hearing from God about what to do about my cancer?
I wanted to cry. 
Because, yes, where was God's voice? If I knew it, I would follow so quickly. 
I thought God wanted me to go natural--until it wasn't working.
Then I just tried to do my best--without any particular guidance from an inner Voice--but I felt God was with me all the way these last 13 months.
Now I am considering chemo, and just when I felt at peace about it in Colorado, the door seemed to slam in my face.
So now I am in South Dakota pursuing again, and just waiting.
Spending my time, as I wait for the soonest appointment possible, living as normally as possible--including canning pickles--knowing the cancer is growing, noting sharper and deeper pain when the jabs happen.
And feeling helpless.
Without a plan, 
but with a Good Shepherd.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

Fire!

Last week our community experienced a prairie fire that burned 15,000-20,000 acres, including part of our property. Apart from the providence of God, it came close to destroying our home.

 Hot, dry weather the last three months has left the grass parched and the earth cracked. Late Thursday morning, we noticed smoke coming our way and learned that there was a fire probably not more than a mile from us. With hot wind gusts up to 50 mph, we didn’t have much time. 
 
Jonathan got a garden hose busy spraying around the house. But soon the smoke was blowing by looking deadly.

I (Anna) was having to evacuate with our most important items, having Hannah help me haul out computers, bins of photo albums and journals, and other important items to the Honda. Crystal had been gone to the courthouse to update her documents since she's moved but came out to see smoke and beat it for home.

 I took off with the Honda while Jonathan and the children stayed behind with fire trucks and firemen to try to save the house and barn. Danny used our poor old skid steer to make a fire break until it quit working. But what were the odds that a grader and earth mover had been working not far away and came roaring down to make a fire break?  

One fireman told us that he had received the assignment to simply stand up on the hill near our house and watch to make sure we were okay. This sentinel stood for hours, like a guardian angel, watching for any fire spreading our direction or flare-ups. 
Other firemen were all over the place, hosing down at the fire’s edge and keeping the fire from spreading to our neighbor’s homes as well. Danny is one in the picture above with a shovel. 
 
Jonathan, Danny, and even Hannah spent the day fighting fires among the trees in the draws and by the river, as well as using shovels to put out hot spots near the house.

The Lord’s care for us that day was shown in so many ways. First, Jonathan, who is almost always gone to work, had stayed home to take care of paper work. Danny was helping a friend extract honey, but he was only 20 minutes away. Crystal’s babysitting job had been cancelled that day, so she was close to home. Mrs. Ambrose, our pastor’s wife, insisted I stay with her where I was able to rest after loading the vehicle and nearly collapsing. 

That very morning, the verses I had been praying over were Psalm 91:5-6, “You shall not be afraid...of the destruction that lays waste at noonday,” the exact time the fire was laying waste our direction. And verse 7, “A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near you.”  That evening, after the fire had passed, we heard that the fire went 10 miles in three hours and had already burned 10,000 acres. Later we heard it had reached 30,000 acres, but that got tempered down to 15 or 20,000. Our own rancher neighbor said he lost 70% of their grass and hay for their cattle. 

The scene above is what I saw from the high point of our road when the worst of the fire had passed our place and had already raged on probably nearly 10 miles by that time. I decided to go back home. The fire is still burning above our neighbor rancher's place in this picture, and kept flaring up for days. 
Jonathan, Danny and Hannah worked for hours putting out fires in the draws.
Danny got this selfie with a burning tree in the background. They dragged a water tank around to douse fires.  
A hillside scene 
A fence scene.
We are grateful that about the worst loss we sustained was some fence posts and fencing. The fence had to come down in one area so fire trucks could go through.
Jonathan and Danny hadn't even had lunch. Danny was ill that day, but he worked all day anyway.  

I happened to have thawed some smoked grouse the night before, so I sent baggies of smoked grouse pieces out to my guys. Jonathan loved it!
He also was grateful for juicy watermelon! 
While the others were gone checking elsewhere for hot spots, Crystal and I noticed a flareup just down from the house. I had filled a couple jugs for just such an emergency, and while I called Jonathan on the phone for help, she dashed down through the scratchy weeds to the edge of the black field. Jonathan promised to be right there while I ran out by the garage to find a shovel. With great and wondrous courage I arrived in time to bang on some clods of burning weeds that she was still dousing with water. Jonathan and Danny arrived about the same time. 
The horizon still had spots glowing as darkness settled.
Jonathan and Danny were up well past midnight checking for hot spots and flare-ups. They and I took turns setting the alarm and getting up through the night to check for flare-ups around us. 
The next day our neighbor above us said he came and stood on the top of the hill to look at where the fire had gone, and he saw the obvious way the fire had veered around our house with a shift of the wind. He was certain a Higher Power had been at work. 

Today Jonathan filled in for our pastor who was not feeling well, speaking on the subject of “Protection from the Coming Fire.” Using examples from our neighborhood’s experiences this week, he shared how God has warned us that the fire of judgment is coming, but God has made provision to save us from that judgment through Christ. Then he and I sang together an old spiritual that my brother Elon, sister Dorcas, and I used to sing as a trio years ago.
“Oh, my lovin’ brother, when the world’s on fire,
Don’t you want God’s bosom to be your pillow.
Hide me over in the Rock of Ages,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me.”
This afternoon Jonathan, Danny and a couple church men are going out to visit another rancher and church friend, Scott, who has also suffered losses. There are still hot spots. While exploring where the fire started, today Jonathan and Danny discovered a burning log and walked down to the river to get jugs of water to douse it out. Pray for rain in our area and for God to undertake for the losses our neighboring ranchers are sustaining. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

Flowers--and Faces Toward the Sun

Yesterday we had a huge prairie grass fire nearby, but before I tell about that, I want to tell about the flowers.

Sunday morning we were getting ready to go to church when I remembered it would be nice to take a vase of flowers. So I went out to pick some from Hannah's garden. Jonathan got this picture on the sly, but I ran across it, so I salvaged it from his phone for my blog post!
Jonathan seemed to enjoy watching the bouquet take shape. I am not really great at flower arrangement, but the vase was pretty, anyway! 
And in my opinion, the rather wild, helter-skelter look was lovely, too. Some kinds of flowers won't stay perfect no matter how much you fix them.  
Like some people, like me, for example. 
A little wild no matter how you fix them! :)
So we enjoyed the flowers at church Sunday morning and then brought them back home to enjoy the rest of the week.
Monday morning, after a night of darkness, I noticed the sunflower was turned toward the light of the window. 
Like the sunflowers we'd passed a few weeks ago on our way from Arizona to Colorado.  We noticed how they were turned to face the sun--even in the darkness. 
Lord, I am just one of many common sunflowers in this world.

Help me, when the world is dark, when sun's rays of joy fade, to keep my face turned toward the only Sun that lasts. "Sun of my soul, thou Savior dear, It is not night if Thou be near. Oh, may no earth-born cloud arise To hide Thee from Thy servant's eyes."

"When the soft dews of kindly sleep My weary eyelids gently steep, Be my last thought, how sweet to rest Forever on my Savior's breast."


Sunday, September 8, 2024

Music, Noise, Love, Laughter, and Good Food

Last week for a few days we had lots of family and nieces and nephews and friends in for the barn raising.

  

What fun it was to have lots of help with the cooking!

This is one of the dishes I actually made myself in a large electric skillet, with fresh summer squash and zucchini with bacon--and it sure got eaten up fast! 
 I never saw pancakes served vertically before!
One morning the girls made biscuits and sausage gravy.
And nearly all day long, one or more girls (or boys) were playing music at the piano or keyboard or guitar.
No end of music.
 
More chopping vegetables 
And cutting zucchini cake
  A scene I loved in the kitchen--my two middle daughters that I miss a lot.
After saying one goodbye after another earlier last week, I was happy to hear from my sister Dorcas that her son Peter was going to be in South Dakota this weekend and hoped to come to see us. 
He did!   

Jonathan and Danny had to leave Saturday morning to replace windows for a lady's badly damaged home in Mission, but Peter said he wished he could do something to help here at our place.

Well, I had some blinds that needed to be installed in our basement windows, and he willingly did the screwing while I unpacked the blinds from their boxes and found curtain rods and hardware for hanging curtain rods, too.
My phone takes poor pictures, but here he is getting a kitchen curtain up in the basement kitchen, so it is more and more finished and ready for company and teams.  
A full basement to keep work teams was Jonathan's original goal in building our house, and that is being realized.
 
 
 

Thursday, September 5, 2024

Goats--and Thoughts--Where They Do Not Belong

 It is after midnight, but when I got up from bed, I discovered the goats out and the cat where she did not belong. The goats are jumping fence like they did when the cousins were here over Labor Day. Ezra put the goat back out and tried to fix the fence, but I guess the goats are finding another low spot somewhere since the property was mowed.
As I stuck a couple of these random photos of goats on my blog, I thought about how goats are like thoughts--they easily get out of line and jump the fence.  But it is our thoughts about our thoughts that make the most difference, as explained below.
 
Here is a quote that I read recently:
"It is our thoughts about our thoughts that get us into trouble," wrote Jack Pransky in Simple Truths for Living Well. He went on to say that if we get a thought such as, "I want to slug him!" and follow that thought with, "Go for it!" we give the first thought power over us and likely follow it. 
But if we follow the first thought with "That was just a thought and a ridiculous one!" it will pass.  
I found that extremely helpful. 
Sort of like, "Birds will fly over your head all the time, but you don't have to let them nest in your hair."
Here is another quote I ran across.
And a simple quote shared by my sister Joella recently when someone was quite sure Anna and probably some others were confused about some things.
"I don't think it's confusion to have to try to sort through...things."
I know that came from my little sister, but my simple brain thought it rather profound--and comforting.  
Here is another  thing my husband and I ran across and thought valuable enough to share.
 
 
 

 
 

Sam and Caitlyn in Africa

With their permission, I am delighted to share a few pictures of Sam and Caitlyn's trip to Africa. Caitlyn's older sister has lived ...