Thoughts from an Apple Pie

Sometimes it may seem that our hearts are sawed right in half.

 I was skimming through an old diary of many years ago this afternoon, searching for a name I had forgotten.

And read page after page of heart anguish--day after day when I was in my early 20's, of our family in fasting and prayer for a situation. 

Me crying in the attic--or in the basement--or walking the fields. 

Surrendering to God--despite the pain.

I knew I could never write about it all--just bits and pieces. 

But now, years later, all I can feel is gratitude at what God did through the years in answer to all those prayers and surrenderings despite the pain.

Sometimes all we can see is the rotten parts of things--like the bad parts of apples that have dropped from Grandpa and Grandma's tree.

 It takes a different person, a different eye, a different viewpoint, a different perspective

to see the same apples from the other side.

The very same apples.

 God has His mysterious ways of seeing the upperside of things we can only see the underside of.

He knows how much He wants to take those imperfect apples--

those drops from the tree--

maybe the dropouts from school or church or jobs or situations--

maybe the lives where the bottom has dropped out from underneath us, 

or the situations where our hearts drop into our shoes...

 and turn them into something edible, something beautiful, something good.

He takes the knife to cut out the bad--

And how skilled He is to carefully preserve the good

because He knows there is worth in that dropped apple--

the imperfect apple that dropped from the tree a little too early and rolled about in the dirt, hiding with dozens of others in the shade of garden weeds.

What others scorn, reject, and throw away--God chooses. 

He loves to find the hidden apple drops--and turn them into a delicious pie.

Find, O Lord, Your hidden ones, wherever they may be,

Trim out the black and rotten spots You see.

Make something beautiful out of them--and out of Me.

Amen.

Blossom as the Rose

Rose had saved her zucchini in her garden for her birthday.

She made a zucchini chocolate cake with simple cream cheese frosting.

 At the last minute, Rose called and invited Iva's family. Also she had Emily Duddeck for overnight the night before, and the whole day. So Rose had three families here.

I asked each family to bring a couple verses or promises or blessings to share for Rose's 13th birthday.

I hoped to have 13 verses.

It was a very special time of Jonathan reading verses and even a little poem, "Try, Try Again."

 Iva shared her verses from Isaiah 35--"The desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose."

 Just a homey picture of one of our chickens.

 And a vase of wildflowers

 Jonathan snapped this photo on our way to church Sunday morning.

The field was so full of bright yellow flowers.

When the Hail Storm Hits Your Windshield

You never know when a hail storm will hit, so you revel--

you choose to revel in the beauty of the moment.

The moments of that Sunday noontime at a park in town, after a good worship service,

when you are on your way to pick up a friend to stay overnight with your daughters.

 The simple picnic of a crock pot meal is over, and now the little ones are eager to visit the ducks.

 And why is that duck nibbling the beautiful pink waterlily blossom?

 I have to admit, there are some things lovely enough that you could wish you could taste it.

 And then there are some scenes so beautiful that there are no words for it.

 And that is before the storm hits your windshield full force.

 Just an hour earlier, we were in the sunshine and flowers,

savoring the fountain and ducks,

and now there is so much hail on the road that there are tracks like it is a snow storm.

 An hour earlier, children explore around the waterfall, and you think about how Christ is the water of life,

And in no time flat, you are creeping along your road with other people's hail-ridden lights glaring in your face,

and instead of a fountain of life, there is a crashing, crushing lash of hail.

 And that is when you are glad you have the refuge of a leak-proof van,

the Refuge of a Shelter in the time of storm.

And memories of beautiful times at His feet when His beauty entranced your soul.

 Because the hailstorms will batter, and you'll have to face the creepy future--

and maybe you'll wish for goggles to protect you from reality.

 And you'll be glad for when you savored the moment--

the moment of peace and shelter and rest...before the storm hit.

 So when your daughter comes in with her friend the next day, to the deck strewn with the ladder that the boys climb to the attic to trap mice, and strewn with clothes that had mud rinsed out of them, 

and the girls are proudly covered with all the mud splatters of the fun fourwheeler ride they just took,

and they insist that they will indeed wash their own clothes out...

 you choose to smile and laugh and back through the door, and say,

"If you didn't have company here, I would not be smiling!!"

And you cringe back into the house and forget about the pile of muddy clothes, 

and remind yourself that there really are beautiful moments in the life of a large family of children.

Beauty All Around

There are beautiful things.

And then there are beautiful people!

And here are four of some of the most beautiful people in the world--Our sweet Rose, charming Carrie, and their sweet friends Joanna and Emily on either side, at the Celestial Seasonings Tea plant in Boulder. 

 We picked up the girls Friday, after spending four days helping with the VBS, to take them with us to visit the Celestial Seasonings Tea Plant before going to the airport to pick up Crystal who was arriving home from South Africa. 

On the way, we passed this breathtakingly beautiful fountain near Federal Heights.

 Somebody snapped a photo of me taking another picture on Emily's camera for her!

 Then Emily snapped a picture of our family in front of the entrance to the tea shop.

 We were not allowed to take any pictures during the free tour, but I got this one just before Jonathan was happy to discard the nettings he had to wear!

 To ensure that none of our hairs got into your tea, we all had to wear hair nets. They improved our looks tremendously!!!!!  :)

Behind me up there are beautiful gift sets of tea related items--mugs, tea packages of all sorts, Celestial Seasonings special beeswax chapstick, and other pretty things. I loved those beautiful gift baskets of tea.

Below--Happy faces!

 Inside the tea shop, there were so many beautiful things that I ached!

There were the most darling tea sets--including sets for frog lovers such as our new pastor's wife!

 Somebody thought that while I snapped a photo, he should point at the message on one of those frog stones--hint, hint--

"Be Tranquil."

Pointing fingers have a way of looking a bit preachy. 

So we will smile and move on to ladybugs.

 The blue in these combinations of mugs and tea pots was just my "cup of tea."

 So, too, were these dainty white pieces with little ceramic bees.

Here were a luscious assortment of spiced or herbed mug mats and hot pads for tables with lovely designs and sayings on them.

This one was one of my favorites. It says, "Just when the Caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a Butterfly."

That sounds like something I would latch onto.

There was just something about these beautiful blue and white sets, the captivating blue color and the blue glass bluebirds

...Perhaps they brought back memories of a gift someone who cared about me once years and years ago, gave to me--a glass bluebird, which I misplaced some time or other. The glass bluebird had been given to me by a young man who had come to meet me for the first time at my graduation from Bible College. While I ended up writing a "Dear John," letter to the person later, whose name was not John, I kept the little bluebird. It was very pretty and very special, and it meant a lot to me. 

Anyone who cared about someone as skinny and goofy as Anna deserved, I thought, to have their little gift saved. I thought it was a beautiful gift, a beautiful choice, and despite that I felt I needed to say no to him, he was still a person of value and not to be treated scornfully just because he wasn't God's choice for me.

But--

the gift got lost. And that was okay. It would just be a pleasant memory.

And then another person came along and had the gumption to care about someone

as skinny and goofy as Anna.

And that was the person that the Lord gave me peace about letting them care--and letting myself care about him.

He didn't give me a glass bluebird, but he gave me his hand, and his arm, and his heart.

And I almost asked him last week to buy me one of these little bluebirds, so it could be from him, but--

I didn't. 

Instead, I was even more captivated by these charming sparrows.

And everyone who knows me well knows that the song "His Eye Is on the Sparrow," is one of my favorite songs, and the verses about God's care for the sparrow, in comparison, or contrast, to His greater care for us, are among my favorite in the Bible. 

And so--I beckoned my sweetheart to come see, and I told him that if he wanted to get me an anniversary gift (for our 20th anniversary), he could buy me one of those little ceramic sparrows.

 And then I disappeared and left the store with a big lump in my throat.

And my sweetheart came out of the store in a bit with a mysterious bag in hand, and suggested we go try tasting some tea from the sampling room before we left. 

Here was another mug that I just loved. Here is one side...

and here is the other.

And I wished so much that I could buy one of these sweet tea sets for little Hannah. But don't even look at the price. A photo of them would have to do.

Because, as these words said on the window....

And so we had to hurry out of that shop where I would have loved to browse an hour or two longer, just

to drink in all the beauty and read all the bright and cozy and inspiring little sayings,

and we had to drive on out the drive  to pick up Crystal at the airport.

But what a beautiful time it had been! We learned enough on the tour to give me a much better appreciation for tea, and to make me want to sit down every single day to have a cup of tea!

I came home and made myself two or three cups of luscious tea, green tea with rose petals, and sleepytime camomile tea, every day.

Finding and Creating Beauty

And so after that long morning at the auto mechanics, and after hunting around the Pueblo Kmart for shoes for my littlest son who has had holes in the toes of his shoes for a long time,

we went on to Aunt Iva's to do something besides the usual.

We went to find and create beauty.

And so here is what we found---no, not the frazzled hair of two little kids, or a dirty shirt--

but the beaming faces

and the bright, wild sunflowers,

and the startling, amazing creativity of little children who think to stuff flowers into the loops of a dress waist.

 It's amazing what you find when you focus on finding beauty instead of--well, weeds, for example.

Weeds grow anywhere and everywhere, but it took thought and effort to make this little garden along the garage wall. Some of the plants were meant to be there, and some had sprouted up from the compost they used. Either way, many edible plants and even a couple nasturtiums were thriving here. Loved this little garden at the side of the house.

 For some back east, gardening is practically a non-issue. You don't think a whole lot about rain or soil. 

But in Pueblo West, Colorado, when there has been little but brown and dirt and hard-packed soil, 

it means something to gain a bit of fruit from your labor. 

Here is a zucchini that they are allowing to grow large, to save the seeds.

 And a yellow squash thriving in the little brick raised bed.

 And pots of flowers by the door put a smile on my face. Iva had either grown the flowers from seed or transplanted some that had cost only a little. The pink petunia pot also had a lovely tomato plant and lettuce plant growing accidentally behind it. I loved the combination!

And doesn't God love variety, too?

 And the children kept watching the baby swallows in the nest right above--yes, the front door, and begging me to take pictures of them peeking over the edge of the nest with their little mouths open wide...

 and of the mama and papa swallows who kept close watch and would bring insects whenever it seemed safe.

 Inside I was so proud of the beautiful job of new, wooden floors that Kenn had recently finished. The bedroom was so neat and simple, with the bearskin rug that Kenn had skinned from his own bear in hunting season. He had salted it down and had it preserved. Perhaps just for today, they had laid it out--

just for beauty.

 It deserved a photo of its own. And the children loved looking at the very real head, and feeling the soft, velvety fur.

 While Sam and Kenny worked hard in the hot sun on the fence, I crashed for a few moments on the couch. I was embarrassed to be so done in, but had spent hours on my feet that morning and really wasn't up to the trip, but hadn't wanted to disappoint the boys whose sisters had spent quite a number of days with friends, helping with two VBS's, and having lots of fun. 

So we got there! When I could pull back together, we began to "create beauty." 

"You can work with just what you have," I encouraged my sister, who has a heart for beauty, but struggles with the heavy load she carries.Out of just things we found in the kitchen, or on that very same catch-all bar that had been cluttered with a mess of papers and umpteen whatevers,  we managed

 something beautiful.

No, it didn't look like the latest fashion magazine, but it was what she had at hand:

a little vegetable stand filled with homegrown zucchini, a basket which she filled with crisp, sweet, red apples,

and a vase for which we asked the little children to cut wild sunflowers. 

We could not get over the change in the atmosphere!

Then out of the pile of dusty things stuck back in this little corner, we simply hung the pictures on the wall, set the little book Love in Every Room in the corner, washed the little pottery or ceramic mugs and used them for book ends for the same Bible and hymnal that had been sitting there....

 and that is what we created! 

We did not have to go to the craft store or the furniture store or Hobby Lobby or Joann Fabrics. 

We simply cleared the clutter,  took what was already there, dusted, washed, arranged, and created a spot of beauty!

We really went to town, so to speak. We found another corner to clear the big waste basket out of, wash down the wall and woodwork, and found a wicker shelf to fill with something pretty. 

Then I had to snap a photo of Elisa choosing trims for fabric she is using to make crafts which she is trying to sell. The little blue bag at the bottom of the photo is a beautiful little bag she made.

 And I have to say that Krissy, the sweet girl in the red top above, did a fabulous job of washing all the dishes and cleaning up the counter. Krissy reminds me a whole lot of Iva when Iva was young. 

Below, the boys finally finished the job of putting up the electric fence and getting it working, 

so they rewarded themselves with a long game of chess while we ladies went to work to clean and reorganize the pantry.

The time I spend with Iva is becoming more and more rewarding

as we talk together and work together to create beauty

out of the common struggles in our lives of being mothers of a large family. 

Perhaps we only beautified a few spots in those few hours, 

but doing it fed our tired spirits.